Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Novelists -- Fiction; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“My dear young friend,” he frankly asked, “is there anything between us
but our disparity of years? That existed from the first moment of our
acquaintance. I have consoled myself at times with the notion of our
continuing together in an exemplary friendship, you growing older and
wiser, and I younger and less wise, if possible, like two Swedenborgian
spirits in the final state. But evidently something has happened to
tinge our amity with a grudge in your mind. Do you object to saying just
what property in me has imparted this unpleasant discoloration to it?”
Ray was ashamed to say, or rather unable. He answered that nothing was
the matter, and that he did not know what Kane meant. He was obliged to
prove this by a show of cordiality, which he began perhaps to feel when
he reasoned away his first resentment. Kane had acted quite within his
rights, and if there was to be any such thing as honest criticism, the
free censure of a friend must be suffered and even desired. He said this
to himself quite heroically; he tried hard to be ruled by a truth so
obvious.
In other things his adversity demoralized him, for a time. He ceased to
live in the future, as youth does and should do; he lived carelessly and
wastefully in the present. With nothing in prospect, it was no longer
important how his time or money went; he did not try to save either. He
never finished his poem, and he did not attempt anything else.
In the midst of his listlessness and disoccupation there came a letter
from Hanks Brothers asking if he could not give a little more social
gossip in his correspondence for the _Echo_; they reminded him that
there was nothing people liked so much as personalities. Ray scornfully
asked himself, How should he, who knew only the outsides of houses,
supply social gossip, even if he had been willing? He made a sarcastic
reply to Hanks Brothers, intimating his readiness to relinquish the
correspondence if it were not to their taste; and they took him at his
word, and wrote that they would hereafter make use of a syndicate
letter.
It had needed this blow to rouse him from his reckless despair. If he
were defeated now, it would be in the face of all the friends who had
believed in him and expected success of him. His motive was not high; it
was purely egoistic at the best; but he did not know this; he had a
sense of virtue in sending his book off to a Boston publisher without
undoing the inner wrappings in which the last New York publisher had
returned it.
Then he went round to ask Mr. Brandreth if he knew of any literary or
clerical or manual work he could get to do. The industrial fury which
has subdued a continent, and brought it under the hard American hand,
wrought in him, according to his quality, and he was not only willing
but eager to sacrifice the scruples of delicacy he had in appealing to a
man whom he had sought first on such different terms. His only question
was how to get his business quickly, clearly, and fully before him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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