Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Novelists -- Fiction; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
The disappointment which Ray had to suffer would have been bad enough
simply as the refusal of his book; with the hope raised in him and then
crushed after the first great defeat, the trial was doubly bitter. It
was a necessity of his suffering and his temperament to translate it
into some sort of literary terms, and he now beguiled his enforced
leisure by beginning several stories and poems involving his experience.
One of the poems he carried so far that he felt the need of another eye
on it to admire it and confirm him in his good opinion of it; he
pretended that he wanted criticism, but he wanted praise. He would have
liked to submit the poem to Kane; but he could not do this now, though
the coldness between them was tacit, and they met as friends when they
met. He had a vulgar moment when he thought it would be a fine revenge
if he could make Kane listen to that passage of his poem which described
the poet’s betrayal by a false friend, by the man who held his fate in
his hand and coolly turned against him. Kane must feel the sting of
self-reproach from this through all the disguises of time and place
which wrapped it; but the vulgar moment passed, and Ray became disgusted
with that part of his poem, and cut it out.
As it remained then, it was the pathetic story of a poet who comes up to
some Oriental court with his song, but never gains a hearing, and dies
neglected and unknown; he does not even achieve fame after death. Ray
did not know why he chose an Oriental setting for his story, but perhaps
it was because it removed it farther from the fact, and made it less
recognizable. It would certainly lend itself more easily to illustration
in that shape, if he could get some magazine to take it.
When he decided that he could not show it to Kane, and dismissed a
fleeting notion of Mr. Brandreth as impossible, he thought of Miss
Hughes. He had in fact thought of her first of all, but he had to feign
that he had not. There had lingered in his mind a discomfort concerning
her which he would have removed much sooner if it had been the only
discomfort there; mixed with his other troubles, his shame for having
indelicately urged her to speak of his story when he saw her last, did
not persist separately or incessantly. He had imagined scenes in which
he repaired his error, but he had never really tried to do so. It was
now available as a pretext for showing her his poem; he could make it
lead on to that; but he did not own any such purpose to himself when he
put the poem into his pocket and went to make his tardy excuses.
The Hughes family were still at table when Denton let him into their
apartment, and old Hughes came himself into the front room where Ray was
provisionally shown, and asked him to join them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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