"Vy, they'll eat him up alive, Sammy!" exclaimed the elder Mr. Weller.
"Stop there by himself, poor creetur, without nobody to take his part!
It can't be done, Samivel, it can't be done!"
"O' course it can't," asserted Sam. "Well, then, I tell you wot it is.
I'll trouble you for the loan of five-and-twenty pound. P'raps you may
ask for it five minits artervards, p'raps I may say I von't pay, and cut
up rough. You von't think o' arrestin' your own son for the money, and
sendin' him off to the Fleet, will you, you unnat'ral wagabone?"
The elder Mr. Weller, having grasped the idea, laughed till he was
purple.
In the course of the day Sam was duly arrested at the suit of his
father, and Sam, having been formally delivered into the warden's
custody, passed at once into the prison, and went straight to his
master's room.
"I'm a pris'ner, sir," said Sam. "I was arrested this here wery
arternoon for debt, and the man as put me in 'ull never let me out till
you go yourself."
"Bless my heart and soul!" ejaculated Mr. Pickwick. "What do you mean?"
"Wot I say, sir," rejoined Sam. "If it's forty year to come, I shall be
a pris'ner, and I'm very glad on it. He's a malicious, bad-disposed,
vorldly-minded, windictive creetur wot's put me in, with a hard heart as
there ain't no soft'nin', as the wirtuous clergyman remarked of the old
gen'l'm'n with a dropsy, ven he said that upon the whole he thought he'd
rather leave his property to his vife than build a chapel with it."
In vain Mr. Pickwick remonstrated.
"I takes my determination on principle, sir," remarked Sam, "and you
takes yours on the same ground; vich puts me in mind o' the man as
killed hisself on principle."
_IV.--Mr. Pickwick Leaves the Fleet_
Those enterprising lawyers, Messrs. Dodson and Fogg, having obtained no
money from Mr. Pickwick, proceeded in July to arrest Mrs. Bardell, who,
as a matter of form, had given them a _cognovit_ for the amount of their
costs.
Mr. Pickwick was taking his evening walk in the grounds of the Fleet
when Mrs. Bardell was brought in, and Sam Weller, seeing the lady, took
off his hat in mock reverence. Mr. Pickwick turned indignantly away.
"Don't bother the woman," said the turnkey to Weller; "she's just come
in."
"A pris'ner!" said Sam. "Who's the plaintives? What for? Speak up, old
feller!"
"Dodson and Fogg," replied the man.
"Here, Job, Job!" shouted Sam, dashing into the passage, and calling for
a man who went errands for the prisoners. "Run to Mr. Perker's, Job; I
want him directly. I see some good in this. Here's a game! Hooray!"
Mr. Perker was in Mr. Pickwick's room betimes next morning.
"Well, now, my dear sir," said Perker, "the first question I have to ask
is whether this woman is to remain here? It rests solely and wholly and
entirely with you."
"With me!" ejaculated Mr. Pickwick.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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