The World's Illusion, Volume 1 (of 2): EvaWassermann, Jakob
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The World's Illusion, Volume 1 (of 2): Eva
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
Felix Imhof joined the two. He ordered cognac and served them, but,
to his annoyance, the conversation would not get started. He got up
and invited Weikhardt to walk with him. With contemptuous joviality
he turned to the other: “Well, you old paint-slinger, your lamp seems
about burned out!”
The man didn’t stir. Weikhardt shrugged his shoulders, and said softly:
“He has no money for bread and no place to sleep.”
Felix Imhof plunged his hand into his pocket, and threw several gold
coins on the table. The painter looked up. Then he gathered the gold.
“Hundred and sixty marks,” he said calmly. “Pay you back on the first.”
Imhof laughed resoundingly.
When they were in the street, Weikhardt said good-naturedly: “He
believes every word of it. If he didn’t absolutely believe it, he
wouldn’t have taken the money. There are still eleven days before the
first--time for a world of illusions.”
“It may be that he believes it,” Imhof replied, with an unsteady laugh,
“it may be. He even believes that he exists, and yet he’s nothing but
a melancholy corpse. O you painters, you painters!” he cried out into
the silent night. “You have no feeling for life. Paint life! You’re
still sitting by a spinning-wheel, instead of at some mighty wheel of
steel, propelled by a force of sixteen thousand horse-power. Paint my
age for me, my huge delight in being! Smell, taste, see, and grasp that
colossus! Make me feel that great rhythm, create my grandiose dreams.
Give me life--my life and its great affirmation!”
Weikhardt said drily: “I have heard that talk before--between midnight
and dawn. When the cock crows we all calm down again, and every man
pulls the cart to which fate has hitched him.”
Imhof stopped, and somewhat theatrically laid his hand on Weikhardt’s
shoulder. He gazed at him with his intensely black, bloodshot eyes. “I
give you a commission herewith, Weikhardt,” he said. “You have talent.
You’re the only one with a mind above your palette. Paint my portrait.
I don’t care what it costs--twenty, fifty thousand. Doesn’t matter.
Take your own time--two months, or two years. But show me--me--the
innermost me. Take this vulture’s nose, this Hapsburg lip, these
gorilla arms and spindle shanks, this coat and this chapeau claque,
and drag from it all the animating Idea. To hell with the accidents of
my phiz, which looks as though an unskilful potter had bungled it in
the making. Render my ambition, my restlessness, my inner tempo and
colourfulness, my great hunger and the time-spirit that is in me. But
you must hurry; for I am self-consumed. In a few years I shall have
burned out. My soul is tinder. Render this process with the divine
objectivity of art, and I’ll reward you like a Medici. But I must be
able to see the flame, the flaring up, the dying down, the quiver of
it! I want to see it, even if to make me see it you have to lash the
whole tradition since Raphael and Rubens into rags!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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