The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): RuthWassermann, Jakob
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The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
“With whips,” Ermelang repeated. “This man! And men still dare to laugh
and speak, and the sun to shine.”
“Perhaps I wanted to see a man writhing under the blows of the
knout,” Eva said. “Perhaps it meant much to me as a stimulus. I must
be nourished somehow, and the uncommon is my nourishment. A strange
twitching, an original posture in crouching--such things satisfy my
imagination. But as a matter of fact”--her voice grew sombre, and she
stared fixedly at a spot on the wall--“I did not see him at all. But
I saw others who have spent ten, twelve, fifteen years in dark cells
of stone. Once they moved about in the great world and busied their
minds with noble things; now they cower in their rags, and blink at
the light of a little lantern. They have forgotten how to look, to
walk, to speak. An odour of decomposition was about them, and all their
gestures were full of a gentle madness. But it was not for their sake
either that I went. I went for the sake of the imprisoned women, who,
on account of an intellectual conviction, have been torn from love
and life and motherhood and devotion, and condemned to death by slow
torture. Many of them had never been condemned by any tribunal. They
had merely been forgotten--simply forgotten; and if their friends were
to demand a trial, the same fate would threaten them. I saw one who
had been brought in when she was a girl; now she was an aged woman and
near her death. I saw Natalie Elkan, who was violated by a colonel of
gendarmes at Kiev, and killed the monster with his own sword. I saw
Sophie Fleming, who put out her own eyes with a piece of steel wire,
because they had hanged her brother in her presence. Do you know what
she said when I entered her cell? She lifted her blind face, and said:
‘That’s the way a lady smells.’ Ah, that taught me something concerning
women. I put my arms about her and kissed her, and whispered in her
ear, asking whether I should smuggle some poison to her; but she
refused.”
Eva arose and walked up and down. “Yes,” she said, “and still men speak
and laugh, and still the sun shines. This room is filled with precious
things. Lackeys stand on the stairs. Fifty feet from here is the bed
of state in which I sleep. It is all mine. What I touch is mine, what
I glance at is mine. They would give me the round earth itself if they
had it to give and I asked it. And I would cast it like a billiard-ball
into a noisome puddle, so that it might no longer defile the home of
stars with its filth and its torments. I am so full of hate! I no
longer know where to hide it or how to be redeemed from it! I no longer
believe in anything--neither in art, nor in poets, nor in myself. I
only hate and destroy. I am a lost soul!”
Ermelang folded his hands. “Wonderful as you are, you should remember
all you have given and to how many.”
Eva stood still. “I am a lost soul. I feel it.”
“Why lost? You are playing a sad game with yourself.”
She shook her head and whispered the verses of the _Inferno_:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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