The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): RuthWassermann, Jakob
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The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
Judith’s eyes glittered as she replied: “It shall never be--never,
never! I shall not remind you of our agreement; I shall not lay the
blame on you if this terrible thing has really happened. I can’t
believe it yet. It would make me feel bewitched. But you are mistaken
if you count on any yielding on my part, any womanly weakness, or
any awakening of certain so-called instincts. Never, never! My body
shall remain as it is--mine, all mine. I won’t have it lacerated and I
won’t share it. It’s the only thing I still call my own. I won’t have
a strange creature take possession of it, and I refuse to age by nine
years in nine months. And I don’t want some mocking image of you or
me to appear. Never, never! The horror of it! Be careful! If you take
delight in something I detest so, the horror will extend itself to you!”
Lorm stretched himself a little, and regarded her with amazement. There
was nothing for him to say.
She went into her bedroom and locked the door. Lorm gave orders that
no visitors were to be admitted. Then he went into the library, and
spent the time until eight reading a treatise on the motions of the
fixed stars. But often he raised his eyes from the book, for he was
preoccupied not so much with the secrets of the heavens as with very
mundane and very depressing things. He got up and went to the door of
Judith’s room. He listened and knocked, but Judith did not answer.
At the end of half an hour he returned and knocked again. She knew
his humble way of seeking admission, but she did not answer. The door
remained locked.
At the end of each half hour, which he spent in reading about the
stars, he returned to the door and knocked. He called her name. He
begged her to have some confidence in him and hear what he had to say.
He spoke in muffled tones, so as not to arouse the attention of the
servants. He asked her not to blame him for his premature delight. He
saw his error and deplored it. Only let her listen to him. He promised
her gifts--an antique candlestick, a set of Dresden china, a frock made
by Worth. In vain. She did not answer.
Three days passed. An oppressive atmosphere rested on the household.
Lorm slunk through the rooms like an intimidated guest. He humiliated
himself so far as to send Judith a letter by the housekeeper, who took
in her meals and who alone had access to her. At night he returned to
the door again and again, placed his lips against it, and implored her.
There was no stirring of anger in him, no impulse to clench his fist
and break down the door. Judith knew that. She was beating her fish.
She knew that she could go any length.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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