The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): RuthWassermann, Jakob
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The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
“What do you mean by that--something certain?” Christian asked, deeply
moved. “I am a man like yourself; I know no more than yourself; like
yourself I have sinned and am helpless and puzzled. What is it I shall
give you--I?”
“But I?” Niels Heinrich was beside himself. “What shall I give? And you
wanted me to give you something! What is it? What can I give you?”
“Don’t you feel it?” Christian asked. “Don’t you know it yet--not yet?”
Silently they looked into each other’s eyes, for Niels Heinrich had
stopped walking. A shiver, an almost visible shiver ran down his limbs.
His face seemed as though singed by the desire of one who rattles at an
iron gate and would be free.
“Listen,” he said, suddenly, with a desperate and convulsive calmness,
“I stole those pearls in your house. I simply put them into my pocket.
One of them I pawned, and made those swine drunk with the money. You
can have them back if you want them. Those I can give you. If that’s
what you want, I can give it to you.”
Christian seemed surprised; but the passionate tensity of his face did
not relax at all.
Niels Heinrich put his hand into his trousers pocket. The string had
been broken, so that his hand was full of the loose pearls. He held it
out toward Christian; but Christian did not stir, and made no move to
receive the pearls. This seemed to embitter Niels Heinrich strangely.
He stretched out his hand until it was flat, and let the pearls roll on
the floor. White and shimmering, they rolled on the parquetry. And as
Christian still did not stir, Niels Heinrich’s rage seemed to increase.
He turned his pocket inside out, so that all the rest of the pearls
fell on the floor.
“Why do you do that?” Christian asked, more in astonishment than in
blame.
“Well, maybe the gentleman wanted a little exercise,” was the impudent
answer. And again that thin foam, like the white of an egg, clung to
his lips.
Christian lowered his eyes. Then this thing happened: he arose and drew
a deep breath, smiled, leaned over, dropped on his knees, and began to
gather up the pearls. He picked up each one singly, so as not to soil
his hands unnecessarily; on his knees he slid over the floor, picking
up pearl after pearl. He reached under the table and under the stairs,
where spilt wine lay in little puddles, and out of these nauseating
little puddles he scratched the pearls. With his right hand he gathered
them; and always, when his left hand was half full, he slipped its
contents into his pocket.
Niels Heinrich looked down at him. Then his eyes fled from that sight,
wandered through the room, found the mirror and fled from it, sought
it anew and fled again. For the mirror had become a glow to him. He no
longer saw his image in it; the mirror had ceased to reflect images.
And again he looked toward the floor where Christian crept, and
something monstrous happened in his soul. A stertorous moan issued from
his breast. Christian stopped in his occupation, and looked up at him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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