The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 1, April 1894
General
The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 1, April 1894
English literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Great Britain -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
On her dressing-table there was a small looking-glass in an ivory
frame. He asked if he might have that, and carried it away with him. She
had looked into it a thousand times, no doubt; she had done her hair in
it; it had reflected her, enclosed her, contained her. He could almost
persuade himself that something of her must remain in it. To own it was
like owning something of herself. He carried it home with him, hugging
it to his side with a kind of passion.
He had prized it, he prized it still, as his dearest treasure; the
looking-glass in which her face had been reflected a thousand times; the
glass that had contained her, known her; in which something of herself,
he felt, must linger. To handle it, look at it, into it, behind it, was
like holding a mystic communion with her; it gave him an emotion that
was infinitely sweet and bitter, a pain that was dissolved in joy.
The glass lay now, folded in its ivory case, on the chimney-shelf in
front of him. That was its place; he always kept it on his
chimney-shelf; so that he could see it whenever he glanced round his
room. He leaned back in his chair, and looked at it; for a long time his
eyes remained fixed upon it. "If she had married me, she wouldn't have
died. My love, my care, would have healed her. She could not have died."
Monotonously, automatically, the phrase repeated itself over and over
again in his mind, while his eyes remained fixed on the ivory case into
which her looking-glass was folded. It was an effect of his fatigue, no
doubt, that his eyes, once directed upon an object, were slow to leave
it for another; that a phrase once pronounced in his thought had this
tendency to repeat itself over and over again.
But at last he roused himself a little, and leaning forward, put his
hand out and up, to take the glass from the shelf. He wished to hold it,
to touch it and look into it. As he lifted it towards him, it fell open,
the mirror proper being fastened to a leather back, which was glued to
the ivory, and formed a hinge. It fell open; and his grasp had been
insecure; and the jerk as it opened was enough. It slipped from his
fingers, and dropped with a crash upon the hearthstone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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