The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 2, July 1894
General
The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 2, July 1894
English literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Great Britain -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
A year after Gertrude's marriage Dr. Worgan gave up his work and
decided at last to carry out a cherished plan. One of his oldest
friends was going to Algiers with his wife and daughter. The doctor
was a great favourite with them; he decided to sell his house in
London, and join the party in their travels. The project had been
discussed for a long time, and Janet foresaw an opportunity of going
her own way. She was sure that her father did not want her. She had
hinted at her wish to stay in England and work for herself; but she
did not insist or trouble her father, and as he did not oppose her she
imagined that the affair was understood. When the time for his
departure drew close, Janet said something about her arrangements
which raised a long discussion. Dr. Worgan expressed great
astonishment at her resolution, and declared that she had not been
open with him. Janet could not understand his sudden opposition;
perhaps she had not been explicit enough; but surely they both knew
what they were about, and it was obviously better that they should
part.
They were in the drawing-room. Dr. Worgan felt aggrieved that the
affair should be taken so completely out of his hands; he had been
reproaching her, and arguing for some time. Janet's tone vexed him.
She was calm, disinclined to argue, behaving as if the arrangement
were quite decided: he would have been better pleased if she had cried
or lost her temper.
"It's very easy to say that; but, after all, you're not independent.
You say you want to get work as a governess; but that's only an excuse
for not going away with me."
"You never let me do anything for you."
"I don't ask you to. I never demand anything of you. I'm not a tyrant;
but that's no reason why you should want to desert me; you're the last
person I have."
Janet hated arguments and talk about affairs which were obviously
settled. They had talked for almost an hour, they could neither of
them gain anything from the conversation, and yet her father seemed to
delight in prolonging it. She did not wish to defend her course. She
would willingly have allowed her father to put her in the wrong, if
only he had left her alone to do what both of them wanted.
"You want to pose as a kind of martyr, I suppose. Your father hasn't
treated you well, he only loved your sister; you've a grievance
against him."
"No, indeed; you know it's not so."
The impossibility of answering such charges, all the unnecessary
fatigue, had brought her very near crying: she felt the lump in her
throat, the aching in her breast. Be a governess? Why, she would
willingly be a factory girl, working her life out for a few shillings
a week, if only she could be left alone to be straightforward. The
picture of the girls with shawl and basket leaving the factory came
before her eyes. She really envied them, and pictured herself walking
home to her lonely garret, forgotten and in peace.
"But that's how our relations and friends will look upon your
conduct."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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