I lit my candles, got my pipe going, and drew my chair near the fire to
read and smoke. It was, however, early days yet for me to read for long.
Moreover, by habit I had picked up my Virgil, and it was as yet impossible
for me to feel the tips of my fingers in the teeth-marks without thinking
of the poor wretch who had made them. I could see in exactest detail his
dead body lying in the road and Swift Nicks beside it, pitching the bag of
guineas up and down in the air, and smiling gleefully and yet wistfully at
me. From that grim event, whether my mind travelled backwards or forwards,
it traversed scenes such as few men are privileged, or fated, to pass
through.
It was, again, too soon for me to realize the full effect of my
experiences on myself. I was not moody, as in the days aforetime. I
neither loathed my lot nor cursed my destiny. I had seen warfare and
bloodshed, I had had my heart wrung and my nerves racked, and now the
peaceful meadows winding along the river and stretching up to the purple
hills were dear to eyes from which the scales had fallen. This was the
life and labour on which the world was based, and it was worthy of any
man. I had seen Death the Harvester at work, and he was a less alluring
figure than Joe Braggs with a flashing sickle in his hand and a swathe of
golden grain under his arm.
I should never be really alone again. I had company of which I should
never tire as I sat here with my memories. Margaret was rarely absent from
my mind, and every memory of her was a blessing and an inspiration. I did
not regret my love, foolish and vain as it had been. The thing that really
mattered was that Jack was alive. I could now look back on everything
without bitterness. If Margaret came for me now, to call me forth to
another hard round of struggle and adventure, I should be off with her
like a shot. She had made a splendid companion. She would make a splendid
marchioness. Some day, when the pain would not be unendurable, I would go
to London and steal another peep at those matchless eyes and that tower of
golden, gleaming hair.
I did not hear the door open, but I heard mother's calm voice, gently
reproving Jane for an unseemly giggle. A pair of arms crept round my neck,
and slim white fingers cupped my chin. Kate did not know that it was I who
had so nearly sent her sweetheart to an untimely grave, for Jack had
sternly forbidden me to mention the subject to anyone, and, as I have
said, it might never have happened so far as he was concerned. Therefore
Kate, always a loving and attentive sister, was now more loving and
attentive than ever because she knew in her heart that, though I had
gained much in my wanderings, I had lost the one thing she had found in
the quiet sickroom where, during long weary months, she had lured Jack
back to life. It was always her task to fetch me from my books and my
thoughts to the beloved circle in the house-place, when, as now, she had
prepared a dish of tea for us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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