Boarding schools -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Medical students -- Fiction
He walked with his father. The church was full. His father went with
bowed head, seeing nothing; but Edwin was conscious of many faces that he
knew. In the middle of the aisle the thought suddenly came to him that
these people weren’t really there to do honour to his mother: they were
so many that most of them could never have known her: no, they were just
curious people who had flocked there to find something sensational in the
faces of the mourners. In a dull place like Halesby a funeral, and such
an important funeral, was an unusual diversion. And this revelation made
him determined that whatever happened he would show no emotion that might
tickle the sensations of these ghouls. He only wished to goodness that
he could explain the matter to his father so that he too might give them
nothing to gloat over.
In the church, where a faint mustiness mingled with the exotic scent of
arum lilies that diffused from the heap of wreaths on the coffin, Edwin
held himself upright. They sang a hymn: “I heard the voice of Jesus say
. . . Come unto me and rest”—the first quatrain in unison, and Edwin sang
with them, just as he would have sung in the chapel at St. Luke’s. In
the churchyard, when they walked in procession behind the bearers to the
grave-side, his eyes were still dry, his lips did not tremble, though
Aunt Laura’s scented handkerchief was now drenched with tears, and even
Uncle Albert, a virtual outsider, was on the edge of violent emotion.
The burial service was nothing to Edwin. There was no consolation in it
nor, to him, the least atom of religious feeling. A mockery, a mockery,
a solemn and pretentious mockery. For she was dead . . . she had
vanished altogether, and the thing that they were burying with muttered
formulas and tears was no more she than the empty parchment of the cocoon
is the glowing butterfly. Let them cry their eyes out. That was not
grief. Beyond tears. Beyond tears. . . .
With a curious air of relief that was very near to a furtive gaiety, the
party drove back and reassembled in the dining-room. All except Mr.
Ingleby. “He has gone to his room, poor dear,” said Aunt Laura, with her
nervous laugh. “Mrs. Barrow, do have a slice of ginger-cake. Just a
little?” Round the long table conversation began to flow, cautiously at
first, but with an increasing confidence, when it became clear that it
was unattended by any revengeful consequences.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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