The girl was not conscious of it; she had no actual realization yet of
how very deeply her unwilling readjustment of fundamental values had,
in the last twenty-four hours, undermined her hitherto unquestioning
acceptance of those inbred standards which, to all her world save
Miriam Burrell, were creed and code of conduct. That morning she only
knew she was unaccountably glad because there was no malice in her
mirth; had she given it thought she would have insisted that, in her
heart, there no longer lurked a ghost, ignoble or otherwise, of what
had once been a childishly snobbish belief in her inherent superiority.
And as suddenly as she had giggled she now laughed aloud at the
expression she had surprised there on his face. Again, for an instant,
the very spontaneity of her swift changing mood gave the situation into
her hands.
"Please," she begged him mockingly, "please, I did have to laugh, a
little. I had to! It just occurred to me, all in a breath, that
perhaps there is another of us who--who hasn't entirely grown up. You
looked so morbidly disheartened. And I know it won't sound logical,
but all this time during which I supposed you were smiling upon my--my
absurd tears with that benign surety of yours, it hurt--hurt like
everything--just knowing that it was all so hopeless for you. But now
that I have seen that you do understand, do we have to be so gloomy any
longer? Are we going to be so tragic, every time we meet? They tell
me it is an admission of unformed, unbalanced youth, Mr. O'Mara. And,
whether that is so or not, I do know that it is a great strain upon my
complexion."
Momentarily her effrontery had given the situation into her hands--but
only momentarily. For even while she was speaking the corners of
Steve's eyelids began to crinkle; before she had finished mocking at
him in a voice that still caught unsteadily in her throat, it was her
up-turned face which had grown pink under his gravely amused scrutiny.
"Was it as bad as that?" he asked. "I don't know that I mind the
'benign' part so very much, but as for my 'surety'--well, now I must
set you right. I have seen men holding four aces sit with faces so sad
and hopeless that they might have earned their fortunes as professional
mourners, could their expressions have been rendered permanent. I've
seen men with straight flushes bow their heads in sorrow over the cards
they held. And I think the one beatific visage it has been my good
luck to behold belonged to Fat Joe, one night when the rest of the
table had raised his very feet out from under him. He sat and beamed;
he radiated good cheer--now and then he chuckled with positively
insulting self-confidence, while he was pushing forward all the chips
he owned . . . and he had two deuces and four spades to back it up!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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