Thereby Hangs a Tale. Volume OneFenn, George Manville
General
Thereby Hangs a Tale. Volume One
Fenn, George Manville
Fiction
"Put down that lawyer as well, Mr--er, er--Mr--" he got the name out
with great disgust at last, "Pratt," and carefully wiped his mouth
afterwards.
"You'll be sorry for this, Hampton," said Miss Matilda, shaking with
virtuous indignation, so that some frozen dewdrops in her head-dress
quivered again, and Pepine, who had been surreptitiously nursed under a
canopy of table-cloth, received, in her excitement, such a heavy nip
from his mistress's knees, that he uttered an awful howl.
"Er-rum--sorry?"
"Yes, sorry. That objectionable person is always hanging about the
house like--like--like a vagrant; and those girls never go for a walk
without being accosted by him or his companion. If you have any eyes,
you ought to see."
"Oh, Matty, pray don't," said Lady Rea, appealingly.
"Er-rum! Silence, Fanny," said Sir Hampton. "And as for your remarks,
Matilda, they are uncalled for. My children would not, I am sure,
encourage the--er-rum--advances of that person; and Lady Rea would be
one of the first to crush any--er-rum--thing of the kind."
"Indeed!" said Aunt Matty, spitefully. "That--er-rum--will do," said
Sir Hampton. "Fanny, those will be our guests. See that the dinner is
worthy of our position."
He went out like a stout, elderly emperor of florid habit, and, as soon
after as was possible, Lady Rea beat a retreat, leaving Aunt Matty
taking dog, after her habit, in strokes with one hand, holding a pocket
handkerchief cake in the other; "and looking," Edward the footman, said
in the kitchen, after removing the breakfast things, "like a bilious
image getting ready for a fit."
Sir Hampton's study was horticulture that morning; and, after swallowing
a page on the manipulation of the roots of espaliers and pyramid trees,
he was about to go out and attack Sanders, the gardener, when Edward
announced Sir Felix Landells and Captain Vanleigh on business, and they
were shown in.
"Really--hope not deranging--untimely call," said Sir Felix.
"We will not detain you long, Sir Hampton," said Vanleigh, with a great
show of deference.
"Er-rum, gentlemen," said Sir Hampton, whose face shone with pride, "in
these rural--er-rum--districts, when one is--er-rum--far from society
and town, sociability and hospitality should, er--"
"Go hand in hand--exactly," said Vanleigh, smiling.
"Er-rum, I am very glad to see you, gentlemen," said Sir Hampton.
"Oddly--er-rum--oddly enough, we were discussing a little dinner for
Friday. Could you--er-rum--both, both--er--honour us with your
company?"
And he looked from one to the other.
"Well," said Vanleigh, hesitating, and glancing at Sir Felix, "it
depends somewhat on--Would you like to speak out, Landells?"
"'Sure you, no. Do it so much better. Pray go on."
And the young man turned crimson.
"Not pre-engaged, I hope?" said Sir Hampton.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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