Adultery -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
On reaching the door of his hotel in the Rue Saint-Victor, he was afraid
to go upstairs, and remain alone. A childish, inexplicable, unforeseen
terror made him fear he would find a man hidden in his garret. Never had
he experienced such poltroonery. He did not even seek to account for
the strange shudder that ran through him. He entered a wine-shop and
remained an hour there, until midnight, motionless and silent at
a table, mechanically absorbing great glasses of wine. Thinking of
Thérèse, his anger raged at her refusal to have him in her room that
very night. He felt that with her he would not have been afraid.
When the time came for closing the shop, he was obliged to leave. But he
went back again to ask for matches. The office of the hotel was on
the first floor. Laurent had a long alley to follow and a few steps
to ascend, before he could take his candle. This alley, this bit of
staircase which was frightfully dark, terrified him. Habitually, he
passed boldly through the darkness. But on this particular night he
had not even the courage to ring. He said to himself that in a certain
recess, formed by the entrance to the cellar, assassins were perhaps
concealed, who would suddenly spring at his throat as he passed along.
At last he pulled the bell, and lighting a match, made up his mind to
enter the alley. The match went out. He stood motionless, breathless,
without the courage to run away, rubbing lucifers against the damp wall
in such anxiety that his hand trembled. He fancied he heard voices,
and the sound of footsteps before him. The matches broke between his
fingers; but he succeeded in striking one. The sulphur began to boil, to
set fire to the wood, with a tardiness that increased his distress. In
the pale bluish light of the sulphur, in the vacillating glimmer, he
fancied he could distinguish monstrous forms. Then the match crackled,
and the light became white and clear.
Laurent, relieved, advanced with caution, careful not to be without a
match. When he had passed the entrance to the cellar, he clung to the
opposite wall where a mass of darkness terrified him. He next briskly
scaled the few steps separating him from the office of the hotel, and
thought himself safe when he held his candlestick. He ascended to the
other floors more gently, holding aloft his candle, lighting all the
corners before which he had to pass. The great fantastic shadows that
come and go, in ascending a staircase with a light, caused him vague
discomfort, as they suddenly rose and disappeared before him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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