Adultery -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
As soon as he was upstairs, and had rapidly opened his door and shut
himself in, his first care was to look under his bed, and make a minute
inspection of the room to see that nobody was concealed there. He closed
the window in the roof thinking someone might perhaps get in that
way, and feeling more calm after taking these measures, he undressed,
astonished at his cowardice. He ended by laughing and calling himself a
child. Never had he been afraid, and he could not understand this sudden
fit of terror.
He went to bed. When he was in the warmth beneath the bedclothes, he
again thought of Thérèse, whom fright had driven from his mind. Do what
he would, obstinately close his eyes, endeavour to sleep, he felt his
thoughts at work commanding his attention, connecting one with the
other, to ever point out to him the advantage he would reap by marrying
as soon as possible. Ever and anon he would turn round, saying to
himself:
“I must not think any more; I shall have to get up at eight o’clock
to-morrow morning to go to my office.”
And he made an effort to slip off to sleep. But the ideas returned one
by one. The dull labour of his reasoning began again; and he soon found
himself in a sort of acute reverie that displayed to him in the depths
of his brain, the necessity for his marriage, along with the arguments
his desire and prudence advanced in turn, for and against the possession
of Thérèse.
Then, seeing he was unable to sleep, that insomnia kept his body in a
state of irritation, he turned on his back, and with his eyes wide open,
gave up his mind to the young woman. His equilibrium was upset, he again
trembled with violent fever, as formerly. He had an idea of getting up,
and returning to the Arcade of the Pont Neuf. He would have the iron
gate opened, and Thérèse would receive him. The thought sent his blood
racing.
The lucidity of his reverie was astonishing. He saw himself in the
streets walking rapidly beside the houses, and he said to himself:
“I will take this Boulevard, I will cross this Square, so as to arrive
there quicker.”
Then the iron gate of the arcade grated, he followed the narrow, dark,
deserted corridor, congratulating himself at being able to go up to
Thérèse without being seen by the dealer in imitation jewelry. Next
he imagined he was in the alley, in the little staircase he had so
frequently ascended. He inhaled the sickly odour of the passage, he
touched the sticky walls, he saw the dirty shadow that hung about there.
And he ascended each step, breathless, and with his ear on the alert. At
last he scratched against the door, the door opened, and Thérèse stood
there awaiting him.
His thoughts unfolded before him like real scenes. With his eyes fixed
on darkness, he saw. When at the end of his journey through the streets,
after entering the arcade, and climbing the little staircase, he thought
he perceived Thérèse, ardent and pale, he briskly sprang from his bed,
murmuring:
“I must go there. She’s waiting for me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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