Adultery -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Thérèse experienced the same sensations. So long as Laurent was not
beside her, she felt at ease. She had dismissed her charwoman, saying
that everything was in disorder, and the shop and apartment filthy
dirty. She all at once had ideas of tidiness. The truth was that she
felt the necessity of moving about, of doing something, of exercising
her stiff limbs. She went hither and thither all the morning, sweeping,
dusting, cleaning the rooms, washing up the plates and dishes, doing
work that would have disgusted her formerly. These household duties kept
her on her feet, active and silent, until noon, without allowing her
time to think of aught else than the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling
and the greasy plates.
On the stroke of twelve, she went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. At
table, Madame Raquin was pained to see her always rising to fetch the
dishes; she was touched and annoyed at the activity displayed by her
niece; she scolded her, and Thérèse replied that it was necessary to
economise. When the meal was over, the young woman dressed, and at last
decided to join her aunt behind the counter. There, sleep overtook
her; worn out by her restless nights, she dozed off, yielding to the
voluptuous feeling of drowsiness that gained her, as soon as she sat
down.
These were only light spells of heaviness, replete with vague charm that
calmed her nerves. The thoughts of Camille left her; she enjoyed that
tranquil repose of invalids who are all at once freed from pain.
She felt relieved in body, her mind free, she sank into a gentle and
repairing state of nothingness. Deprived of these few calm moments, she
would have broken down under the tension of her nervous system. These
spells of somnolence gave her strength to suffer again, and become
terrified the ensuing night. As a matter of fact she did not sleep,
she barely closed her lids, and was lost in a dream of peace. When a
customer entered, she opened her eyes, served the few sous worth of
articles asked for, and fell back into the floating reverie.
In this manner she passed three or four hours of perfect happiness,
answering her aunt in monosyllables, and yielding with real enjoyment to
these moments of unconsciousness which relieved her of her thoughts, and
completely overcame her. She barely, at long intervals, cast a glance
into the arcade, and was particularly at her ease in cloudy weather,
when it was dark and she could conceal her lassitude in the gloom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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