SHELMERDENE: But what am I to tell you? What is the use of my telling you that I have been in love only once in my life? You will not believe me.... But it is true, you know. Though, of course, there was a time when I was inquisitive. THE VOICE: And that has passed? SHELMERDENE: That has passed. THE VOICE: But isn’t life very dull for you, then? What do you do? SHELMERDENE: I wait. THE VOICE: So serious! SHELMERDENE: I must go on with my dressing now. I am very late. THE VOICE: A moment, please, please! You said you had been in love only once in your life. Tell me of that. SHELMERDENE: But the man’s mad! What is there to tell? It ended--it just ended! He said, you know, that love was like religion, for it must be done well or not at all.... And that’s all there is of it. He went. One can’t explain an ideal, one can only explain the failure of an ideal. One can’t describe a love-affair, one can only describe the end of a love-affair. I loved him, I lost him. And I’m still alive--and so, I suppose, is he! I wonder if he is a little softer than he was.... THE VOICE: And so you ended a beautiful thing because of a caprice? SHELMERDENE: Oh, for God’s sake, don’t use that horrible word--“caprice!” It is just a label given to women by half-witted men. It is the name disappointed men give to women’s constancy. No, no, never use that silly word again! Besides, it is not worthy of your pleasant voice. THE VOICE: Bother my voice! And how, why, did your one real love-affair end? SHELMERDENE: We were too proud, you see. I was very young, and he would not understand. He simply would not understand! THE VOICE: (_Impatiently_) But what is it that he would not understand? Women are always complaining of that.... SHELMERDENE: _Please_ don’t generalise! It is so easy to insult a woman by saying women. How did he fail? Oh, he would not understand that marriage is comradeship, not domination. It is very difficult for some men to understand that, and it is very difficult for some women to be dominated. THE VOICE: It is very difficult for some women to be loyal! SHELMERDENE: Again! Well, perhaps. Loyalty, like a sense of humour, is a quality universally praised because every one thinks he or she has it. And when you say that a woman is lacking in loyalty you really mean that she is not so celibate as you might wish. When you say that it is difficult for some women to be loyal, what you really mean is that it is difficult for some women to be celibate. You are quite right, it is. And why, in God’s name, should they be? Must all Englishwomen be made of stone because most Englishmen are educated only from the throat downwards! Now, tell me why did you ring me up--was it to discuss, “loyalty”? THE VOICE: Your voice hurts rather, Shelmerdene. I have just returned to England. SHELMERDENE: (_Very softly_) Yes?