HAD all things gone as ordered, our arrival at the St. Leonards’ on
Friday afternoon would have been imposing. It was our entrance, so to
speak, upon the local stage; and Robina had decided it was a case where
small economies ought not to be considered. The livery stable proprietor
had suggested a brougham, but that would have necessitated one of us
riding outside. I explained to Robina that, in the country, this was
usual; and Robina had replied that much depended upon first impressions.
Dick would, in all probability, claim the place for himself; and, the
moment we were started, stick a pipe in his mouth. She selected an open
landau of quite an extraordinary size, painted yellow. It looked to me
an object more appropriate to a Lord Mayor’s show than to the
requirements of a Christian family; but Robina seemed touchy on the
subject, and I said no more. It certainly was roomy. Old Glossop had
turned it out well, with a pair of greys—seventeen hands, I judged them.
The only thing that seemed wrong was the coachman. I can’t explain why,
but he struck me as the class of youth one associates with a milk-cart.
We set out at a gentle trot. Veronica, who had been in trouble most of
the morning, sat stiffly on the extreme edge of her seat, clothed in the
attitude of one dead to the world; Dick, in lavender gloves that Robina
had thoughtfully bought for him, next to her. Ethelbertha, Robina, and
myself sat perched on the back seat; to have leaned back would have been
to lie down. Ethelbertha, having made up her mind she was going to
dislike the whole family of the St. Leonards, seemed disinclined for
conversation. Myself I had forgotten my cigar-case. I have tried the
St. Leonard cigar. He does not smoke himself; but keeps a box for his
friends. He tells me he fancies men are smoking cigars less than
formerly. I did not see how I was going to get a smoke for the next
three hours. Nothing annoys me more than being bustled and made to
forget things. Robina, who has recently changed her views on the subject
of freckles, shared a parasol with her mother. They had to hold it
almost horizontally in front of them, and this obscured their view. I
could not myself understand why people smiled as we went by. Apart from
the carriage, which they must have seen before, we were not, I should
have said, an exhilarating spectacle. A party of cyclists laughed
outright. Robina said there was one thing we should have to be careful
about, living in the country, and that was that the strong air and the
loneliness combined didn’t sap our intellect. She said she had noticed
it—the tendency of country people to become prematurely silly. I did not
share her fears, as I had by this time divined what it was that was
amusing folks. Dick had discovered behind the cushions—remnant of some
recent wedding, one supposes—a large and tastefully bound Book of Common
Prayer. He and Veronica sat holding it between them. Looking at their
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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