“Do I look as if I’d eaten anything for hours and hours?” Veronica
demanded. “You can feel my waistband if you don’t believe me.”
“You said just now you had had your lunch,” Dick argued.
“I know I did,” Veronica admitted. “One minute you are told that it is
wicked to tell lies; the next—”
“Veronica!” Robina interrupted threateningly.
“It’s easy for you,” retorted Veronica. “You are not a growing child.
You don’t feel it.”
“The least you can do,” said Robina, “is to keep silence.”
“What’s the good,” said Veronica—not without reason. “You’ll tell them
when I’ve gone to bed, and can’t put in a word for myself. Everything is
always my fault. I wish sometimes that I was dead.”
“That I were dead,” I corrected her. “The verb ‘to wish,’ implying
uncertainty, should always be followed by the conditional mood.”
“You ought,” said Robina, “to be thankful to Providence that you’re not
dead.”
“People are sorry when you’re dead,” said Veronica.
“I suppose there’s some bread-and-cheese in the house,” suggested Dick.
“The baker, for some reason or another, has not called this morning,”
Robina answered sweetly. “Neither unfortunately has the grocer.
Everything there is to eat in the house you see upon the table.”
“Accidents will happen,” I said. “The philosopher—as our friend St.
Leonard would tell us—only smiles.”
“I could smile,” said Dick, “if it were his lunch.”
“Cultivate,” I said, “a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view
this lunch is rather good.”
“Did you have anything to eat at the St. Leonards’?” he asked.
“Just a glass or so of beer and a sandwich or two,” I admitted. “They
brought it out to us while we were talking in the yard. To tell the
truth, I was feeling rather peckish.”
Dick made no answer, but continued to chew bacon-rind. Nothing I could
say seemed to cheer him. I thought I would try religion.
“A dinner of herbs—the sentiment applies equally to lunch—and contentment
therewith is better,” I said, “than a stalled ox.”
“Don’t talk about oxen,” he interrupted fretfully. “I feel I could just
eat one—a plump one.”
There is a man I know. I confess he irritates me. His argument is that
you should always rise from a meal feeling hungry. As I once explained
to him, you cannot rise from a meal feeling hungry without sitting down
to a meal feeling hungry; which means, of course, that you are always
hungry. He agreed with me. He said that was the idea—always ready.
“Most people,” he said, “rise from a meal feeling no more interest in
their food. That was a mental attitude injurious to digestion. Keep it
always interested; that was the proper way to treat it.”
“By ‘it’ you mean . . . ?” I said.
“Of course,” he answered; “I’m talking about it.”
“Now I myself;” he explained—“I rise from breakfast feeling eager for my
lunch. I get up from my lunch looking forward to my dinner. I go to bed
just ready for my breakfast.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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