“‘Sir Robert’—his name being Theodore, which doesn’t seem to suit
him—turns out to be the only son of a widow, a Mrs. Foy, our next-door
neighbour to the south. We met her coming out of church on Sunday
morning. She was still crying. Dick took Veronica on ahead, and I
walked part of the way home with them. Her grandfather, it appears, was
killed many years ago by the bursting of a boiler; and she is haunted,
poor lady, by the conviction that Theodore is the inheritor of an
hereditary tendency to getting himself blown up. She attaches no blame
to us, seeing in Saturday’s catastrophe only the hand of the Family
Curse. I tried to comfort her with the idea that the Curse having spent
itself upon a futile effort, nothing further need now be feared from it;
but she persists in taking the gloomier view that in wrecking our
kitchen, Theodore’s ‘Doom,’ as she calls it, was merely indulging in a
sort of dress rehearsal; the finishing performance may be relied upon to
follow. It sounds ridiculous, but the poor woman was so desperately in
earnest that when an unlucky urchin, coming out of a cottage we were
passing, tripped on the doorstep and let fall a jug, we both screamed at
the same time, and were equally surprised to find ‘Sir Robert’ still
between us and all in one piece. I thought it foolish to discuss all
this before the child himself; but did not like to stop her. As a
result, he regards himself evidently as the chosen foe of Heaven, and is
not, unnaturally, proud of himself. She called here this (Monday)
afternoon to leave cards; and, at her request, I showed her the kitchen
and the mat over which he had stumbled. She seemed surprised that the
‘Doom’ had let slip so favourable a chance of accomplishing its business,
and gathered from the fact added cause for anxiety. Evidently something
much more thorough is in store for Master Theodore. It was only half a
pound of gunpowder, she told me. Doctor Smallboy’s gardener had bought
it for the purpose of raising the stump of an old elm-tree, and had left
it for a moment on the grass while he had returned to the house for more
brown paper. She seemed pleased with the gardener, who, as she said,
might, if dishonestly inclined, have charged her for a pound. I wanted
to pay for—at all events—our share, but she would not take a penny. Her
late lamented grandfather she regards as the person responsible for the
entire incident, and perhaps it may be as well not to disturb her view.
Had I suggested it, I feel sure she would have seen the justice of her
providing us with a new kitchen range.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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