They Call Me Carpenter: A Tale of the Second ComingSinclair, Upton
General
They Call Me Carpenter: A Tale of the Second Coming
Sinclair, Upton
Hollywood (Los Angeles, Calif.) -- Fiction; Jesus Christ -- Fiction
I saw that it was not going to be possible to drive through the jam,
so I put my car in a parking place, and set out for the City Hall on
foot. On the way I observed that the invitation of the “Times” had
been accepted; the Brigade had taken possession of the town. It was
just about possible to walk on the down-town streets; there were
solid masses of noisy, pushing people, every other man in uniform.
Evidently there had been a tacit agreement to repeal the Eighteenth
amendment to the Constitution for the next three days; bootleggers
had drawn up their trucks and automobiles along the curbs, and
corn-whiskey, otherwise known as “white lightnin',” was freely sold.
You would meet a man with a bottle in his hand, and the effects of
other bottles in his face, who would embrace you and offer you a
drink; in the same block you would meet another man who would invite
you to buy drinks for everybody in sight. The town had apparently
agreed that no invitation should be declined. If the great Republic
of Mobland had been unable to make for its returned war-heroes the
new world which it had promised them--if it could not even give them
back the jobs they had had before they left--surely the least it
could do was to get them drunk!
And several times in each block you would have to get off the
sidewalk for a group of ten or twenty flushed, dishevelled men,
playing the great national game of craps. “Roll the bones!” they
would shout, completely ignoring the throngs which surged about
them. Each had his pile of bills and silver laid out on the
pavement, and his bottle of “white lightnin';” now and then one
would take a swig, and now and then one would start singing:
All we do is sign the pay-roll--
And we don't get a goddam cent.
You would go a little farther, and find a couple of automobiles
trying to get past, and a merry crowd amusing itself throwing large
waste cans in front of them. Some one would shout: “Who won the
war?” And the answer would come booming: “The goddam slackers;” or
maybe it would be, “The goddam officers.” The crowd would move along,
starting to chant the favorite refrain:
You're in the army now,
You're not behind the plow--;
You son-of-a---,
You'll never get rich--
You're in the army now!
And from farther down the street would come a chorus from another
crowd of marchers:
I got a girl in Baltimore,
The street-car runs right by her door.
Every now and then you would come on a fist-fight, or maybe a fight
with bottles, and a crowd, laughing and whooping, engaged in pulling
the warriors apart and sitting on them. Through a mile or two of
this kind of thing I made my way, my heart sinking deeper with
misgiving. I got within a couple of blocks of the City Hall, and
then suddenly I came upon the thing I dreaded--my friend Carpenter
in the hands of the mob!
LXI
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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