Thirty Strange StoriesWells, H. G. (Herbert George)
Science
Thirty Strange Stories
Wells, H. G. (Herbert George)
Fantasy fiction, English; Science fiction, English; Short stories, English
An interval of five years elapsed. Again it was a Sunday afternoon in
October, and again Mr. Coombes walked through the pinewood beyond the
canal. He was still the same dark-eyed, black-moustached little man that
he was at the outset of the story, but his double chin was now scarcely
so illusory as it had been. His overcoat was new, with a velvet lapel,
and a stylish collar with turndown corners, free of any coarse
starchiness, had replaced the original all-round article. His hat was
glossy, his gloves newish—though one finger had split and been carefully
mended. And a casual observer would have noticed about him a certain
rectitude of bearing, a certain erectness of head that marks the man who
thinks well of himself. He was a master now, with three assistants.
Beside him walked a larger sunburnt parody of himself, his brother Tom,
just back from Australia. They were recapitulating their early
struggles, and Mr. Coombes had just been making a financial statement.
“It’s a very nice little business, Jim,” said brother Tom. “In these
days of competition, you’re jolly lucky to have worked it up so. And
you’re jolly lucky, too, to have a wife who’s willing to help like yours
does.”
“Between ourselves,” said Mr. Coombes, “it wasn’t always so. It wasn’t
always like this. To begin with, the missus was a bit giddy. Girls are
funny creatures.”
“Dear me!”
“Yes. You’d hardly think it, but she was downright extravagant, and
always having slaps at me. I was a bit too easy and loving, and all
that, and she thought the whole blessed show was run for her. Turned the
’ouse into a regular caravansary, always having her relations and girls
from business in, and their chaps. Comic songs a’ Sunday, it was getting
to, and driving trade away. And she was making eyes at the chaps, too! I
tell you, Tom, the place wasn’t my own.”
“Shouldn’t ’a’ thought it.”
“It was so. Well—I reasoned with her. I said, ‘I ain’t a duke, to keep a
wife like a pet animal. I married you for ’elp and company.’ I said,
‘You got to ’elp and pull the business through.’ She would n’t ’ear of
it. ‘Very well,’ I says; ‘I’m a mild man till I’m roused,’ I says, ‘and
it’s getting to that.’ But she wouldn’t ’ear of no warnings.”
“Well?”
“It’s the way with women. She didn’t think I ’ad it in me to be roused.
Women of her sort (between ourselves, Tom) don’t respect a man until
they’re a bit afraid of him. So I just broke out to show her. In comes a
girl named Jennie, that used to work with her, and her chap. We ’ad a
bit of a row, and I came out ’ere—it was just such another day as
this—and I thought it all out. Then I went back and pitched into them.”
“You did?”
“I did. I was mad, I can tell you. I wasn’t going to ’it ’er, if I could
’elp it, so I went back and licked into this chap, just to show ’er what
I could do. ’E was a big chap, too. Well, I chucked him, and smashed
things about, and gave ’er a scaring, and she ran up and locked ’erself
into the spare room.”
“Well?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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