English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600; Heywood, Thomas, approximately 1574-1641
2nd Luce.
Heigh-ho! have I disguised myself, and stolen out of the country
thus far, and can light of no better news to entertain me? Oh, this
wild-headed, wicked Chartley, whom nothing will tame! To this
gallant was I, poor gentlewoman, betrothed, and the marriage day
appointed; but he, out of a fantastic and giddy humour, before the
time prefixed, posts up to London. After him come I thus habited,
and you see my welcome--to be an ear-witness of his second
contracting. Modesty would not suffer me to discover myself,
otherwise I should have gone near to have marred the match. I heard
them talk of Hogsdon, and a wise-woman, where these aims shall be
brought to action. I’ll see if I can insinuate myself into her
service; that’s my next project: and now good luck of my side!
[_Exit_.
ACT THE SECOND.
SCENE I.--_Before the_ Wise-woman’s _House_.
_Enter the_ Wise-woman, _a_ Countryman _with a urinal, two_
Citizens’ Wives, Taber, _and a_ Kitchen-maid.
Wise-woman.
Fie, fie! what a toil and a moil it is
For a woman to be wiser than all her neighbours!
I pray, good people, press not too fast upon me;
Though I have two ears, I can hear but one at once.
You with the urine.
_Enter 2nd_ Luce _in Boy’s clothes; she stands aside_.
Countryman.
Here, forsooth, mistress.
Wise-woman.
And who distilled this water?
Countryman.
My wife’s limbeck, if it please you.
Wise-woman.
And where doth the pain hold her most?
Countryman.
Marry, at her heart, forsooth.
Wise-woman.
Ay, at her heart, she hath a griping at her heart?
Countryman.
You have hit it right.
Wise-woman.
Nay, I can see so much in the urine.
2nd Luce.
Just so much as is told her. [_Aside_.
Wise-woman.
She hath no pain in her head, hath she?
Countryman.
No, indeed, I never heard her complain of her head.
Wise-woman.
I told you so, her pain lies all at her heart;
Alas, good heart! but how feels she her stomach?
Countryman.
Oh, queasy[4.13] and sick at stomach.
Wise-woman.
Ay, I warrant you, I think I can see as far into a mill-stone as
another. You have heard of Mother Nottingham, who for her time was
prettily well skilled in casting of waters; and after her, Mother
Bomby; and then there is one Hatfield in Pepper Alley, he doth
pretty well for a thing that’s lost. There’s another in Coleharbour,
that’s skilled in the planets. Mother Sturton, in Golden Lane, is
for fore-speaking;[4.14] Mother Phillips, of the Bankside, for the
weakness of the back; and then there’s a very reverend matron on
Clerkenwell Green, good at many things. Mistress Mary on the
Bankside is for ’recting a figure;[4.15] and one (what do you call
her?) in Westminster, that practiseth the book and the key, and the
sieve and the shears: and all do well, according to their talent.
For myself, let the world speak. Hark you, my friend, you shall
take-- [_She whispers_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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