English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600; Heywood, Thomas, approximately 1574-1641
Sencer.
And I say, I will not tell you what is Latin for the earth, unless
you yield me victor.
Sir Harry.
You have no reason: good Sir Timothy,
The place is yours.
Haringfield.
He hath deserved it well.
Sencer.
But I’ll deserve it better: why, this fellow
Is frantic; you shall hear me make him speak
Idly and without sense. I’ll make him say
His nose was husband to a Queen.
[_He whispers_ Sir Harry.
Sir Harry.
Sir Timothy, not possible.
Taber.
He will not speak it for shame.
Sencer.
That you shall hear. Magister Boniface.
Sir Boniface.
_Quid ais_, domine Timothy?
Sencer.
Who was Pasiphe’s husband, Queen of Crete?
Sir Boniface.
Who knows not that? Why, Minos was her husband.
Sencer.
That his nose was; did I not tell you so?
Sir Boniface.
I say that Minos was.
Sencer.
That his nose was--ha, ha!
Sir Harry.
I’ll not believe it.--
Sir Boniface, there are a brace of angels;
You are not for my turn. Sir Timothy,
You are the man shall read unto my daughter
The Latin tongue, in which I am ignorant.
Confess yourself an ass; speak bawdy words;
And after to talk idly! Hence, away!
You shall have my good word, but not my pay.
Sir Boniface.
_Opus est usus_; Sir Timothy, you abuse us.
I swear by a noun, had I thy hose down,
_Qui, quæ, quod_, I would so smoke thee with the rod,
_Ille, illa, illud_, until I fetched blood.
But, _nobiles vaiete_, remain in _quiete_.
[_Exeunt_ Sir Boniface _and_ Taber.
Sir Harry.
Sir Timothy, there is some gold in earnest,
I like you well; take into your tuition
My daughter Gratiana. [_Re-enter_ Taber.] The news, Taber?
Taber.
Of another gallant, noble sir, that pretends to have business both
with you and my mistress.
Sir Harry.
Admit him.
_Enter_ Young Chartley _very gallant, with_ Gratiana.
Taber.
Lusty Juventus,[4.47] will it please you to draw near?
Young Chartley.
Noble knight, whilst you peruse that [_Hands_ Sir Harry _a
letter_], sweet lady, tell me how you like this? [_Kisses_
Gratiana.
Gratiana.
You press so suddenly upon me, sir,
I know not what to answer.
Sencer.
[_Aside_.] Mad Chartley! what makes Desperation here?
Young Chartley.
To the word wooer let me add the name speeder; my father hath
written to your father, and the cause of his writing at this present
is to let you understand that he fears you have lived a maid too
long; and therefore, to prevent all diseases incident to the same,
as the green sickness and others, he sent me, like a skilful
physician, to take order with you against all such maladies. If you
will not credit me, list but how fervently my father writes in my
behalf.
Sir Harry.
[_Reads_.] “He is my only son, and she, I take it, your only
daughter. What should hinder then to make a match between them?”
Well, ’tis well, ’tis good, I like it. “I will make her jointure
three hundred pounds a year.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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