Christian fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
Before the morning Leopold lay wound in the net of a low fever, almost
as ill as ever, but with this difference, that his mind was far less
troubled, and that even his most restless dreams no longer scared him
awake to a still nearer assurance of misery. And yet, many a time, as
she watched by his side, it was excruciatingly plain to Helen that the
stuff of which his dreams were made was the last process to the final
execution of the law. She thought she could follow it all in his
movements and the expressions of his countenance. At a certain point,
the cold dew always appeared on his forehead, after which invariably
came a smile, and he would be quiet until near morning, when the same
signs again appeared. Sometimes he would murmur prayers, and sometimes
it seemed to Helen that he must fancy himself talking face to face with
Jesus, for the look of blessed and trustful awe upon his countenance was
amazing in its beauty.
For Helen herself, she was prey to a host of changeful emotions. At one
time she accused herself bitterly of having been the cause of the return
of his illness; the next a gush of gladness would swell her heart at
the thought that now she had him at least safer for a while, and that he
might die and so escape the whole crowd of horrible possibilities. For
George’s manipulation of the magistrate could but delay the disclosure
of the truth; even should no discovery be made, Leopold must at length
suspect a trick, and that would at once drive him to fresh action.
But amongst the rest, a feeling which had but lately begun to indicate
its far-off presence now threatened to bring with it a deeper and more
permanent sorrow: it became more and more plain to her that she had
taken the evil part against the one she loved best in the world; that
she had been as a Satan to him; had driven him back, stood almost bodily
in the way to turn him from the path of peace. Whether the path he had
sought to follow was the only one or not, it was the only one he knew;
and that it was at least A true one, was proved by the fact that he had
already found in it the beginnings of the peace he sought; while she,
for the avoidance of shame and pity, for the sake of the family, as she
had said to herself, had pursued a course which if successful, would at
best have resulted in shutting him up, as in a madhouse, with his
own inborn horrors, with vain remorse, and equally vain longing. Her
conscience, now that her mind was quieter, from the greater distance
to which the threatening peril had again withdrawn, had taken the
opportunity of speaking louder. And she listened--but still with one
question ever presented: Why might he not appropriate the consolations
of the gospel without committing the suicide of surrender? She could
not see that confession was the very door of refuge and safety, towards
which he must press.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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