Christian fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
“‘Throughout my delusion of an English existence, I had been tormented
in my wakings with such thought-phantoms, and ever had I followed them,
as an idle man may follow a flitting marsh-fire. Indeed, I had grown so
much interested in the phenomenon and its possible indications that I
had invented various theories to account for them, some of which seemed
to myself original and ingenious, while the common idea that they are
vague reminiscences of a former state of being, I had again and again
examined, and as often entirely rejected, as in no way tenable or
verisimilar.
“‘But upon the morning to which I have referred, I succeeded, for the
first time, in fixing, capturing, identifying the haunting, fluttering
thing. That moment the bonds of my madness were broken. My past returned
upon me. I had but to think in any direction, and every occurrence, with
time and place and all its circumstance, rose again before me. The awful
fact of my own being once more stood bare--awful always--tenfold more
awful after such a period of blissful oblivion thereof: I was, I had
been, I am now, as I write, the man so mysterious in crime, so unlike
all other men in his punishment, known by various names in various
lands--here in England as the Wandering Jew. Ahasuerus was himself
again, alas!--himself and no other. Wife, daughter, brother vanished,
and returned only in dreams. I was and remain the wanderer, the undying,
the repentant, the unforgiven. O heart! O weary feet! O eyes that have
seen and never more shall see, until they see once and are blinded for
ever! Back upon my soul rushes the memory of my deed, like a storm of
hail mingled with fire, flashing through every old dry channel, that it
throbs and writhes anew, scorched at once and torn with the poisonous
burning.”
CHAPTER XI.
THE WANDERING JEW.
“‘It was a fair summer-morning in holy Jerusalem, and I sat and wrought
at my trade, for I sewed a pair of sandals for the feet of the high
priest Caiaphas. And I wrought diligently, for it behoved me to cease an
hour ere set of sun, for it was the day of preparation for the eating of
the Passover.
“‘Now all that night there had been a going to and fro in the city, for
the chief priests and their followers had at length laid hands upon him
that was called Jesus, whom some believed to be the Messiah, and others,
with my fool-self amongst them, an arch-impostor and blasphemer. For I
was of the house of Caiaphas, and heartily did desire that the man my
lord declared a deceiver of the people, should meet with the just reward
of his doings. Thus I sat and worked, and thought and rejoiced; and the
morning passed and the noon came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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