Christian fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
I pause for a moment in my narrative to request the sympathy of such
readers as may be capable of affording it, for a man whose honesty makes
him appear egotistic. When a man, finding himself in a false position,
is yet anxious to do the duties of that position until such time as, if
he should not in the meantime have verified it, and become able to fill
it with honesty, he may honourably leave it, I think he may well be
pardoned if, of inward necessity, he should refer to himself in a place
where such reference may be either the greatest impiety, or the outcome
of the truest devotion. In him it was neither: it was honesty--and
absorption in the startled gaze of a love that believed it had caught a
glimmer of the passing garment of the Truth. Thus strengthened--might I
not say inspired? for what is the love of truth and the joy therein,
if not a breathing into the soul of the breath of life from the God
of truth?--he looked round upon his congregation as he had never dared
until now--saw face after face, and knew it--saw amongst the rest that
of Helen Lingard, so sadly yet not pitifully altered, with a doubt if
it could be she; trembled a little with a new excitement, which one less
modest or less wise might have taken--how foolishly!--instead of
the truth perceived, for the inspiration of the spirit; and, sternly
suppressing the emotion, said,
“My hearers, I come before you this morning to utter the first word of
truth it has ever been given to ME to utter.”
His hearers stared both mentally and corporeally.
“Is he going to deny the Bible?” said some.
--“It will be the last,” said others, “if the rector hear in time how
you have been disgracing yourself and profaning his pulpit.”
“And,” the curate went on, “it would be as a fire in my bones did I
attempt to keep it back.
“In my room, three days ago, I was reading the strange story of the man
who appeared in Palestine saying that he was the Son of God, and came
upon those words of his which I have now read in your hearing. At their
sound the accuser, Conscience, awoke in my bosom, and asked, ‘Doest thou
the things he saith to thee?’ And I thought with myself,--‘Have I this
day done anything he says to me?--when did I do anything I had heard of
him? Did I ever’--to this it came at last--‘Did I ever, in all my life,
do one thing because he said to me DO THIS?’ And the answer was NO,
NEVER. Yet there I was, not only calling myself a Christian, but on the
strength of my Christianity, it was to be presumed, living amongst
you, and received by you, as your helper on the way to the heavenly
kingdom--a living falsehood, walking and talking amongst you!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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