Artists and patrons -- Fiction; Authors and readers -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Italy -- Fiction; Satire
“Well, if we’d both been born vere,” replied Lord Hovenden, flushed with
insolence and speed, “it wouldn’t have been so bad.”
They left Volterra behind them. The hellish landscape was gradually
tempered with mundane greenness and amenity. They descended the headlong
street of Colle. The landscape became once more completely earthly. The
soil of the hills was red, like that from which God made Adam. In the
steep fields grew rows of little pollard trees, from whose twisted black
arms hung the festooned vines. Here and there between the trees shuffled
a pair of white oxen, dragging a plough.
“Excellent roads, for a change,” said Lord Hovenden. On one straight
stretch he managed to touch eighty-eight. Mr. Falx’s beard writhed and
fluttered with the agonised motions of some captive animal. He was
enormously thankful when they drew up in front of the hotel at Siena.
“Wonderful machine, don’t you fink?” Lord Hovenden asked him, when they
had come to a standstill.
“You go much too fast,” said Mr. Falx severely.
Lord Hovenden’s face fell. “I’m awfully sorry,” he apologised. The young
giant in him was already giving place to the meek pedestrian. He looked
at his watch. “The others won’t be here for another three-quarters of an
hour, I should fink,” he added, in the hope that Mr. Falx would be
mollified by the information.
Mr. Falx was not mollified, and when the time came, after lunch, for
setting out on the Perugia road, he expressed a decided preference for a
seat in Mrs. Aldwinkle’s limousine. It was decided that he should change
places with Miss Elver.
Miss Elver had no objection to speed; indeed, it excited her. The faster
they went, the more piercing became her cries of greeting and farewell,
the more wildly she waved her handkerchief at the passing dogs and
children. The only trouble about going so fast was that the mighty wind
was always tearing the handkerchiefs from between her fingers and
whirling them irretrievably into receding space. When all the four
handkerchiefs in her reticule had been blown away, Miss Elver burst into
tears. Lord Hovenden had to stop and lend her his coloured silk bandana.
Miss Elver was enchanted by its gaudy beauty; to secure it against the
assaults of the thievish wind, she made Irene tie one corner of it round
her wrist.
“Now it’ll be all right,” she said triumphantly; lifting her goggles,
she wiped away the last traces of her recent grief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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