Artists and patrons -- Fiction; Authors and readers -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Italy -- Fiction; Satire
These like remorse inveterate memories,
Being of cabbage, are prophetic too
Of future feasts, when Mrs. Cloudesley Shove
Will still recall lamented Cloudesley.
Still
Among the moonlit cedars Philomel
Calls back to mind, again, again,
The ancient pain, the everlasting pain;
And still inveterately the haunted air
Remembers and foretells that roses were
Red and to-morrow will again be red,
But, “Cloudesley, Cloudesley!” Philomel in vain
Sobs on the night; for Cloudesley Shove is dead....
And in the flesh, as though irresistibly summoned by my incantation,
Mrs. Cloudesley Shove blackens the doorway with her widowhood.
“Not a very naice day,” says Mrs. Cloudesley, as she sits down.
“Not at all,” Miss Carruthers heartily agrees. And then, without turning
from the beef, without abating for an instant the celerity of her
carving, “Fluffy!” she shouts through the increasing din, “don’t giggle
like that.”
Politely Mr. Chelifer half raises himself from his chair as Miss Fluffy
comes tumbling, on the tail end of her giggle, into the chair next to
his. Always the perfect gent.
“I wasn’t giggling, Miss Carruthers,” Fluffy protests. Her smile reveals
above the roots of her teeth a line of almost bloodless gums.
“Quite true,” says young Mr. Brimstone, following her less tumultuously
from the door and establishing himself in the seat opposite, next to
Mrs. Cloudesley. “She wasn’t giggling. She was merely cachinnating.”
Everybody laughs uproariously, even Miss Carruthers, though she does not
cease to carve. Mr. Brimstone remains perfectly grave. Behind his
rimless pince-nez there is hardly so much as a twinkle. As for Miss
Fluffy, she fairly collapses.
“What a horrible man!” she screams through her laughter, as soon as she
has breath enough to be articulate. And picking up her bread, she makes
as though she were going to throw it across the table in Mr. Brimstone’s
face.
Mr. Brimstone holds up a finger. “Now you be careful,” he admonishes.
“If you don’t behave, you’ll be put in the corner and sent to bed
without your supper.”
There is a renewal of laughter.
Miss Carruthers intervenes. “Now don’t tease her, Mr. Brimstone.”
“Tease?” says Mr. Brimstone, in the tone of one who has been misjudged.
“But I was only applying moral suasion, Miss Carruthers.”
Inimitable Brimstone! He is the life and soul of Miss Carruthers’s
establishment. So serious, so clever, such an alert young city man—but
withal so exquisitely waggish, so gallant! To see him with Fluffy—it’s
as good as a play.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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