Those Times and TheseCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Those Times and These
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
Jeff was conscious of no act of wrongdoing toward Smooth Crumbaugh. With
Jeff, discretion was not only the greater part of fighting valour but
practically was all of it. Nevertheless, he was glad, as he obeyed the
summons and, with a placating smile fixed upon his face, drew nearer
the paling, that he stood on the sanctuary ground of a circuit judge's
premises, and that a fence intervened between him and his truculent
caller.
“Comm' right along,” he said with an affected gaiety.
Just the same, he didn't go quite up to the gate. He made his stand
three or four feet inside of it, ready to jump backward or sidewise
should the necessity arise.
“I'se feared I didn't heah you call de fus time,” stated Jeff
ingratiatingly. “I wuzn't studyin' about nobody wantin' me--been wipin'
off our ole mare. 'Sides, I thought you wuz down in Alabam', workin' on
de ole P. and A. Road.”
“Num'mine dat!” said Smooth. “Jes' lis'en to whut I got to say.”
The hostile glare of his eye bored straight into Jeff, making him chilly
in his most important organs. Smooth was part basilisk, but mainly
hyena, with a touch of the man-eating tiger in his composition. “Little
nigger,” he continued grimly, “I come th'ough dis lane on puppus' to
tell you somethin' fur de good of yore health.”
“I's lis'enin',” said Jeff, most politely.
“Heed me clost,” bade Smooth; “heed me dost, an' mebbe you mout live
longer. Who wuz you at de Fust Ward Cullid Baptis' Church wid last
Sunday night? Dat's de fust question.”
“Who--me?”
“Yas; you!”
“Why, lemme see, now,” said Jeff, dissembling. “Seem lak, ez well ez I
reckerleck, I set in de same pew wid quite a number of folkses durin' de
service.”
“I ain't axin' you who you set wid. I's axin' you who you went wid?”
“Oh!” said Jeff, as though enlightened as to the real object of the
inquiry, and still sparring for time. “You means who did I go dere wid,
Smoothy? Well----”
“Wuz it dat Stubblefield gal, or wuzn't it? Answer me, yas or no!”
The tone of the questioner became more ominous, more threatening, with
each passing moment.
“Yas--yas, Smoothy.” He giggled uneasily. “Uh-huh! Dat's who 'twuz.”
“Well, see dat it don't happen ag'in.”
“Huh?”
“You heared whut I said!”
“But I---- But she----”
“See dat it don't happen nary time ag'in.”
“But--but----”
“Say, whut you mean, interrup'in' me whilst I's speakin' wid you fur
yore own good? Shut up dat trap-face of your'n an' lis'en to me,
whut I'm say in': Frum dis hour on, you stay plum' away frum dat gal.
Understan'?”
“Honest, Smoothy, I didn't know you wuz cravin' to be prankin' round wid
Ophelia!”
Jeff spoke with sincerity, from the heart out. In truth, he hadn't
known, else his sleep of nights might have been less sound.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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