There is a process known as heaping coals of fire, of which you are
past mistress, and I uncover my poor old bald head to it, and kneel
before you abjectly and take all you will give me. This A.M. comes
to me your book and your sister’s, about your illustrious father
and Laura Bridgman, and the generosity of it leaves me so touched
and confused that I scarce know where to look or what to do. I
daresay you are generous enough perhaps not to remember that you
sent me months and months ago another book, a book of verse (by
some hand not known to me, or apparently much known to you) and
that this offering was basely never acknowledged, though it was
accompanied by the kindest of notes, and though I have been
helplessly meaning to until this hour. It is the thought of my
baseness that makes me beat my breast and bless your charity now.
The source of evil was the embarrassing little book of verse. I
couldn’t read it and by no fault, doubtless of its own, and I was
shy of telling you I couldn’t, and I thought that by waiting I
might be able to say, brazenly, I _had_; and then with this, waited
so long that I was ashamed to say anything, there seemed so much to
explain and such a mountain to lift, and it all came from my not
writing the very day with the wisdom of the serpent to say I was
going, as soon as possible to devour the graceful volume; which I
didn’t do really, because that is what one does to the importunate
and the intruder, and you were such millions of miles from either.
Now, somehow, you cheer me up, and I don’t mind being brazen about
anything. I have already been looking into Laura B., of whom you
make a wondrous tale and who shines out as pathetically human
through her strange prison bars. It is among other things a most
curious and characteristic _American_ document. I like immensely
your aunt’s story of the girl’s feeling for her rings, bracelets,
etc. and finding none, and saying luminously, “Poor?” and then,
when she _did_ find her earrings, exclaiming promptly, “Vain!”
“Poor but vain!” is a delightful verdict from such a source. I wish
your solid book a large success.--For the rest, I am afraid that I
have done nothing more distinct or definite (for the page of
history) since that evening of so long ago at the Henry Harlands,
but hope and pray that the chance might be given me of meeting you
again. But you haven’t come, and though I think I have vaguely
heard of your being again in Europe, I have fully lost track of you
and the waters have closed over the question. I am a very rusty
country cousin now, as far as the terrible London of the early
summer is concerned. I put in each year 3 or 4 winter months, but I
flee when the season begins, like some great dangerous beast,
ominously to growl.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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