Three Lives: Stories of The Good Anna, Melanctha and The Gentle LenaStein, Gertrude
General
Three Lives: Stories of The Good Anna, Melanctha and The Gentle Lena
Stein, Gertrude
Working class women -- Fiction
Melanctha sometimes now, when she was tired with being all the time so
much excited, when Jeff would talk a long time to her about what was
right for them both to be always doing, would be, as if she gave way
in her head, and lost herself in a bad feeling. Sometimes when they
had been strong in their loving, and Jeff would have rise inside him
some strange feeling, and Melanctha felt it in him as it would soon be
coming, she would lose herself then in this bad feeling that made her
head act as if she never knew what it was they were doing. And slowly
now, Jeff soon always came to be feeling that his Melanctha would be
hurt very much in her head in the ways he never liked to think of, if
she would ever now again have to listen to his trouble, when he was
telling about what it was he still was wanting to make things for
himself really understanding.
Now Jeff began to have always a strong feeling that Melanctha could no
longer stand it, with all her bad suffering, to let him fight out with
himself what was right for him to be doing. Now he felt he must not,
when she was there with him, keep on, with this kind of fighting that
was always going on inside him. Jeff Campbell never knew yet, what he
thought was the right way, for himself and for all the colored people
to be living. Jeff was coming always each time closer to be really
understanding, but now Melanctha was so bad in her suffering with him,
that he knew she could not any longer have him with her while he was
always showing that he never really yet was sure what it was, the
right way, for them to be really loving.
Jeff saw now he had to go so fast, so that Melanctha never would have
to wait any to get from him always all that she ever wanted. He never
could be honest now, he never could be now, any more, trying to be
really understanding, for always every moment now he felt it to be
a strong thing in him, how very much it was Melanctha Herbert always
suffered.
Jeff did not know very well these days, what it was, was really
happening to him. All he knew every now and then, when they were
getting strong to get excited, the way they used to when he gave his
feeling out so that he could be always honest, that Melanctha somehow
never seemed to hear him, she just looked at him and looked as if
her head hurt with him, and then Jeff had to keep himself from being
honest, and he had to go so fast, and to do everything Melanctha ever
wanted from him.
Jeff did not like it very well these days, in his true feeling. He
knew now very well Melanctha was not strong enough inside her to stand
any more of his slow way of doing. And yet now he knew he was not
honest in his feeling. Now he always had to show more to Melanctha
than he was ever feeling. Now she made him go so fast, and he knew it
was not real with his feeling, and yet he could not make her suffer so
any more because he always was so slow with his feeling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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