"I'm different from the rest," answered Perfishka, with philosophical
calm. "I think this way: keep quiet!--Fate gives what it will, and if
a man is hollow and empty, so that nothing can be put in him, then,
what can Fate do? Once, I admit, I wanted things, while my dead one was
alive--I knew of Jeremy's pile. I'd have liked to have a fist in that.
'If I don't rob him,' I thought, 'some one else will.' Well, thank God,
two others actually got in before me. I don't complain, but then I
understood that one must learn, too, how to wish."
The cobbler laughed, climbed down from the stove, and added:
"Now give me the five kopecks. My inside's on fire. I can't stand it
any more."
"There! Have your glass," said Ilya. Then he looked at Perfishka with a
smile, and asked:
"Shall I tell you something?"
"Well, what?"
"You're a humbug, and a good-for-nothing, and a miserable drunkard.
That's all certain."
"Yes, it's certain," confessed the cobbler, standing before Ilya with
the five-kopeck piece in his hand.
"And yet," Ilya went on seriously and thoughtfully, "I don't believe I
know a better man than you, by God, I don't."
Perfishka smiled incredulously, and looked at Lunev's serious but
friendly face.
"You're joking?"
"Believe it or not, it is so. I don't say it to praise you, but only
because, so far as I can see, that's my opinion."
"Wonderful! my head's too stupid I'm afraid; did I understand you to
say----But let me have a mouthful, perhaps then I'll be cleverer."
"Not so fast!" said Ilya, and caught him by the shirt sleeve. "I want
to ask you one thing--do you fear God?"
Perfishka shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, and said in a
voice that sounded a little hurt:
"I have no reason to fear God. I do no harm to anyone--never have."
"And now, do you pray?"
"Oh, I pray, of course--not often."
Ilya saw that the cobbler had no desire to talk, and that his whole
soul was longing for the tap room.
"There you are, Perfishka--ten more!"
"My word! that's what I call treating!" cried Perfishka and beamed with
joy.
"But tell me, how do you pray?" Lunev pressed him again.
"I? Quite simply. I don't know any prayers. I knew 'the Virgin Mother
of God' once, but I forgot it long ago. There's a beggar's prayer: 'O
Lord Jesus,' and so on, I know that by heart right to the end. Perhaps
when I'm old I'll use it. But now I just pray in my own way. 'Lord have
mercy,' I say."
Perfishka looked at the ceiling, nodded with conviction, and went on.
"He'll understand up there. Can I go now? I've an awful thirst."
"Go on--go on," said Ilya, and looked at Perfishka thoughtfully. "But
see here, when the day comes, when the Lord asks you, How have you
lived?"
"Then I'll say, 'when I was born I was small, and when I died I was
dead drunk. So I don't know.' Then He'll laugh and forgive me."
The cobbler smiled pleasantly and hurried away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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