"Patience, patience."
"He must be a smart fellow who murdered him," remarked Ilya.
The indifference with which his words were received roused in him a
desire to speak of the murder.
"Smart?" said the inspector slowly. "No! I am the smart fellow! There!"
and he played a five, slapping the card down on the table. Ilya could
not follow suit, and lost the round.
The husband and wife laughed at him, and he grew more restive. As he
was dealing, he said defiantly:
"To kill a man in broad daylight, in the main street of the town, that
takes some courage."
"Luck, not courage," Tatiana corrected.
Ilya looked first at her, then at her husband, laughed softly and asked:
"You call it luck to kill some one?"
"Why, yes; to kill some one and not get caught."
"You've given me ace of diamonds again," cried the inspector.
"I could do with an ace," said Ilya seriously.
"Kill a rich man, that's the best ace!" said Tatiana jokingly.
"Hold on a bit with your killing, here's an ace of cards to go on
with," cried Kirik, with a loud laugh and played two nines and an ace.
Ilya glanced again at their pleasant, happy faces, and the desire to
speak further of the murder left him.
Living side by side with these people, separated only by a thin wall
from their sheltered, peaceful life, Ilya was seized more and more
frequently with fits of painful dissatisfaction. The feeling poured
over him like a dense, cold flood, and he could not understand whence
it came. At the same time thoughts of life's contradictions rose up
in him, of God who knows everything, yet does not punish but waits
patiently. Why does He wait?
Out of sheer boredom he began to read again. His landlady had a couple
of volumes of the "Niva," and the "Illustrated Review," and a few
other odd volumes. Just as in his childhood, so now, he cared only
for tales and romances, in which a strange unknown life was depicted,
and not at all for representations of the real, the wrong and misery
filling the life that surrounded him. Whenever he read tales of actual
life, dealing with simple folk, he found them wearisome and full of
false descriptions. Sometimes it is true they amused him, when it
seemed as though these tales were written by clever people, anxious
to paint this miserable, dull, grey life in fair colours and gloss
over its wretchedness. He knew this life and daily learned to know
it better. As he passed through the streets he never failed to see
something that appealed to his critical faculties. In this way once he
witnessed a scene on his way to visit his friend at the hospital which
he related to Pavel:
"This is what they call law and order. I saw some people like
carpenters and plasterers going along the pavement. Up comes a
policeman. 'Now then, you rascals!' he shouts, and turns them off into
the road. That's to say, walk with the horses, else your dirty clothes
may soil the fine gentry; build me a house, oh, yes, but I'll chuck you
out of it, ah!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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