The memory of Poluektov did not trouble Ilya and, generally speaking,
his thoughts were not disturbing--they lay soft and easily on his soul,
enwrapping it as a cloud the moon. The colours of the picture were made
a little pale by them, and a vague dark spot appeared on it, while
the stillness round about grew denser. Frequently he thought with
calmness, as he had done after the murder of Poluektov, that there must
be justice in life, and that, sooner or later, men must be punished for
their sins. After such thoughts, he would look sharply into the dark
corner of the room, where it was so mysteriously still, and where the
darkness would take on a definite form. Then he undressed, lay down,
and extinguished the lamp. He did not put it out at once, but turned
the wick first up, then down. The light would all but go out, then
again flare up, and the darkness danced round the bed, now threw itself
on the bed from all sides, now again sprung back into the corner of
the room. Ilya watched how the pitiless black waves tried to overwhelm
him, and he played in this way for a long time, whilst trying to pierce
the darkness with wide-open eyes, as though he expected to catch sight
of something. At last the light flickered for the last time, and went
out in a moment. The blackness flooded the room, and seemed to waver
as though still disturbed by its struggle with the light. Then the
dull bluish patch of the window became visible. When the moon shone,
black streaks of shadow from the railings in front of the window fell
across the table and the floor. There was so tense a stillness in the
room that it seemed as if his whole frame must quiver if he sighed. He
wrapped the bed-clothes round him, drawing them up to his chin, but
with his face uncovered, and lay and looked at the twilight of the
window till sleep overpowered him. In the morning he woke fresh and
rested, almost ashamed of his follies of the night before. He had tea
with Gavrik at the counter and looked at his shop as at a new thing.
Sometimes Pavel came in from his work, covered with dirt and grease, in
a scorched blouse and with smoke-blackened face. He was working again
with a well-sinker, and carried with him a little kettle, with lead
piping and soldering-iron. He was always in a hurry to get home, and if
Ilya asked him to stay, he would say, with a shame-faced smile:
"I can't. I feel, brother, as though I had a wonderful bird at home,
but as if the cage were too weak. She sits there alone all day, and
who knows what she thinks about? It's a dull kind of life for her. I
know that very well--if only we had a child!"
And Gratschev sighed heavily. Once when Ilya asked him if he still
wrote poems, he replied smiling:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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