"I don't know. Ehrenov said to me plainly I won't have you about my
house, else I'll thrash you.--Give me something, Ilya Jakovlevitch, for
a little drink of brandy."
"You'll come to grief, Perfily," said Ilya compassionately.
"I'm on the way," admitted the cobbler. "Lots of people will be sorry
when I'm dead," he went on with conviction. "For I'm a good fellow, and
I like to make people laugh. Every one cries--ah! and alas! and laments
and talks of God and sin; but I sing little songs and laugh. Whether
you sin a pennyworth or a pound's-worth, you've got to die all the
same. You go under, and the Devil will torment you anyhow; and besides
the world needs good fellows."
Finally he went off, laughing and jesting, like a tousled old
greenfinch. But Ilya, when he had seen him out, shook his head; while
he pitied Perfishka, he saw the uselessness of his compassion. His
own past seemed far behind him, and all that reminded him of it made
him uncomfortable. Now he resembled a weary man who rests and sleeps
quietly, but the autumn flies buzz persistently in his ear and will
not let him have his sleep out. When he talked to Pavel or listened to
Perfishka's tales, he smiled in sympathy, but when they were gone, he
shook his head. Especially he found Pavel's conversation melancholy
and troubling. At such times he hurriedly and obstinately offered him
money, gesticulated, and said: "What else can I do to help you? I
should advise you--break with Vyera!"
"I can't," said Pavel, softly. "You only throw away things you don't
want. But I need her--ah, yes, and others want her too, and would like
to take her from me, that's the trouble. And perhaps I don't love her
with my soul, but out of wickedness and desperation. She's the best
that life has offered me. All my good fortune. Why should I let her go?
What shall I have left? No, I won't sell her. It's a lie.--I'll kill
her, but I won't let her go."
Gratschev's drawn face was covered with red patches, and he clenched
his fists convulsively.
"Do you find, then, that people hang about after her?"
"No, no!"
"How do you mean, then--they'd like to take her away?"
"There's a power that will snatch her from my hands. Ah! the devil! My
father came to grief through a woman, and seems to have left me the
same fortune."
"It's impossible to help you, I'm afraid," said Lunev, and felt a
certain relief as he said it. Pavel distressed him more than Perfishka,
and when his friend spoke with hate and anger, a similar feeling surged
up in Ilya's breast against some undefined person. But the enemy that
caused the suffering, that ruined Pavel's life, was not there, but
invisible, and Lunev felt anew that his enmity or his compassion
availed nothing, like nearly all his sympathetic feelings towards other
men. It seemed these feelings were all superfluous, useless. Pavel went
on, more gloomily:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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