"I'm reading a story now, brother," Jakov went on again; "it's called
'Julia, or the Subterranean Vault of the Muzzini Castle'--most
interesting. And you? What are you doing that way?"
"Go to the devil with your subterranean vaults. I don't live so very
high above ground myself," was Lunev's sulky answer.
Jakov looked at him sympathetically, and asked:
"Is there anything gone wrong with you?"
Lunev did not reply. He was wondering whether to tell Jakov of Masha or
not; but Jakov began again gently:
"Ilya, you're so touchy and bitter--about nothing, as far as I can see.
Because you see--after all--it isn't anybody's fault. It's all settled.
They haven't any hand in it--it was all arranged and ordered long
before them."
Lunev drank his tea and said nothing.
"And you know--every man shall be rewarded according to his deeds--that
is certain. There's my father--to tell the truth. What is he? Why, a
tyrant! And then comes along Thekla Timofeyevna and--crock! She has
him under the harrow. He leads a life of it now--ah! ah! He's begun to
drink out of worry--and how long is it since they were married? And
so for every man there's a Thekla Timofeyevna somewhere for his evil
deeds."
Ilya was weary and uninterested; he pushed away his teacup and said
suddenly:
"And what are you looking for now?"
"How do you mean? From whom?" replied Jakov in a low voice with eyes
wide open.
"Why--in the future--what are you looking for?" Ilya repeated his
question sharply.
Jakov hung his head and became thoughtful.
"Well?" said Ilya half aloud, feeling a burning restlessness at his
heart and a wish to get away as soon as possible.
"What could I look for?" Jakov began at last softly and without looking
at his friend.
"To look for? There's no more of that for me. I shall die--that's
all--and soon--that's certain."
He held up his head and went on with a gentle happy smile on his wasted
face.
"I always see things blue in my dreams--d'you know? as if everything
were sky-blue--not only the sky, but the ground and the trees and the
flowers and the grass. Everything! And so quiet--quite, quite peaceful!
As if nothing at all existed--everything seems so still--and all bright
blue. I feel so light--as though I could go anywhere, without feeling
tired--go right on and never stop--and you can't tell whether it's
really you or not--so light, so light. Dreams like that--that's a sign
of death."
"Good-bye!" said Lunev, and got up.
"Where are you going so soon? Stay a little."
"No. Good-bye!"
Jakov got up also. "Very well then--go!"
Lunev pressed his hot hand and looked at him silently, finding no words
to bid his comrade farewell; he wanted to say something, wanted so
strongly and so much that his heart pained him.
"Why do you look at me like that?" asked Jakov, smiling.
"Forgive me, brother," said Lunev slowly and heavily, lowering his eyes.
"What then?"
"Just that--forgive."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account