But Tanitshka did not come; he was alone all day, and the time hung
very heavily on his hands. When he lay down to sleep he felt isolated,
and his sense of injury at his isolation was greater even than at the
girl's words. He remembered Olympiada, and thought now that she had
been kinder to him than any one. Closing his eyes, he listened in the
stillness of the night; but at every sound he started, raised his head
from the pillow, and stared into the darkness with eyes wide open. All
night he could not get to sleep, because of his terrified expectation
of something unknown--a feeling as though he were imprisoned in a
cellar, gasping in a damp, close air, full of helpless, disconnected
thoughts. He got up with an aching head, tried to get the samovar
going, but gave it up. He washed, drank some water, and opened the shop.
About midday Pavel appeared, his forehead wrinkled in anger. Without
any greeting, he asked:
"What on earth's the matter with you?"
Ilya understood the drift of the question, and shook his head
hopelessly. He was silent awhile, thinking: "He's against me, too."
"Why have you insulted Sophie Nikonovna?" said Pavel sternly, standing
very straight.
Ilya read his condemnation in Gratschev's angry face and reproachful
eyes, but he bore that with indifference. He said slowly, in a tired
voice:
"You might say 'good day' when you come in, don't you think? and take
off your cap. There's an eikon here."
Pavel simply clutched his cap and drew it on more firmly, while his
lips twitched with anger. Then he began, speaking fast and bitterly,
with a trembling voice:
"Go on! Got lots of money, haven't you? and plenty to eat? You'd better
think how you once said: 'There's no one to care about us,' and then
you find one, and you turn her out. Ah, you--you pedlar, you!"
A dull feeling of slackness prevented Lunev from replying. With an
unmoved, indifferent look he regarded Pavel's angry contemptuous
features, feeling that the reproaches could not bite into his soul.
On Pavel's chin and upper lip lay a thin yellow down, and Lunev found
himself looking at this as he thought, indifferently:
"Now he's beginning. She must have complained of me to him. Did I
really insult her? I might have said far worse things."
"She, who understands everything and can explain everything; and it's
to her--you----Ah!" said Pavel, his talk full of interjections as
usual: "All of them--there, are good--clever--they know everything you
can think of by heart. Yes!--you ought to have held to her--and you----"
"That'll do anyhow, Pashka," said Lunev slowly. "What are you trying to
teach me? I do what I like.'
"Yes, but what do you do? It's a shame!"
"Whatever I like I'll do. I've had enough of all of you! Only get away
and chatter what you like." Lunev leaned heavily against the boxes of
goods, and went on thoughtfully, as though questioning himself:
"And what could you tell me that I don't know?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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