"Cherries from Vladimir!" shouts a fruit-seller in a sing-song voice.
Every moment brings forth something new and unexpected; life amazes our
ears with the multiplicity of its noises, the unwearied persistence
of its movement, the strength of its restless creative might. But in
Lunev's soul everything there was calm and dead. Everything there
was still together. There was there no thought, no wish, only a dull
weariness. He spent the whole day in this state, and was tortured all
night by nightmare and wild dreams--and many days and nights thereafter
passed in the same way. People came, bought what they needed, and went
again; his only thought was:
"I don't need them, and they don't need me. That's only strange at
first; I shall get used to it! I will just live alone. I will live!"
Instead of Gavrik, the former cook of the owner of the house saw to
his samovar and brought him his midday meal. She was a lean, sinister
woman, with a red face and eyes that were colourless and staring.
Sometimes when he looked at her Ilya felt fear deep down in his soul.
"Shall I, then, never see anything beautiful in my life?" And darkly,
despairingly, he said to himself: "See how life goes." There had been a
time when he had grown accustomed to the manifold impressions of life,
and although they irritated him and angered him, he yet felt--it is
better to live among men. But now men had disappeared from the world,
and there were only customers left. His sense of a common humanity and
the longing for a better life vanished together in his indifference
towards all and everything, and again the days slipped slowly by in a
suffocating stupor.
One evening, when he had closed the shop, he went out into the
courtyard, lay down under the elm-tree, and listened to the noise on
the further side of the fence. Some one clicked with the tongue, and
said softly:
"O--Oh! Good dog! Good little dog!"
Through a chink between the planks Ilya saw a fat old woman, with a
long face, sitting on a bench; a big yellow dog had laid one of his
fore-paws on her knee, and raising his muzzle, tried to lick her face.
The woman turned her face away, and stroked the dog, smiling.
"People caress dogs, then, if there's no one else," Ilya mused. With
deep pain in his heart, he thought of Gavrik and his stern sister; then
of Pashka, Masha. "If they wanted me they'd come. They can go to the
devil. To-morrow I'll go and see Jakov."
"My good dog!" murmured the woman beyond the fence.
"If even Tanyka would come!" thought Ilya, sadly. But Tatiana
Vlassyevna was living in a country house a good way from the town, and
never appeared in the shop.
XXIV.
Ilya did not succeed in visiting Jakov next day, because his uncle
Terenti arrived in the town. It was early morning.
Ilya was just awoke, and sat on his bed saying to himself that another
day was here that must be lived through somehow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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