"Let go, brother," half whispered Jakov, then stood still and looked at
Ilya. His face was pale, his lips pressed together and his whole figure
bowed as though by a heavy load.
"Oh! don't be angry, stay a minute," said Ilya, penitent, and led Jakov
from the door back to his chair. "Don't get cross with me--it's true,
anyhow."
"I know."
"You know? Who told you?"
"Everybody says it."
"H'm--yes; but those who say it are rascals too." Jakov looked at him
mournfully and sighed.
"I didn't believe it; I thought all the time they said it just out of
meanness, out of spite. But then, I began to believe, and if you say
it, too--then----"
He made a gesture to express his despair, turned away and stood
motionless, his hands grasping the chair, and his head sunk on his
breast; Ilya sat on his bed in the same mood and said nothing, for
he did not know how to comfort his friend. Behind the wall there was
outcry and noise, till the glasses rattled and the voice of a drunken
woman sang:
"I cannot sleep, I cannot rest,
For slumber will not come to me."
"And this is where one has to live!" said Jakov, half aloud.
"Oh yes!" answered Ilya, in the same tone, "I can easily understand,
brother, that you don't like it here. The only consolation is, it's the
same everywhere, men are all alike in the long run."
"Do you know that really for a fact; that about my father and Jeremy?"
asked Jakov timidly, without looking at his friend.
"I? I saw it myself; do you remember how I ran out? I looked through a
chink and saw them sewing up the pillow--the old man was still gasping."
Jakov shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. They sat in silence
for a long time, both in the same position, one on the bed, the other
on the chair. Then Jakov got up, went to the door, and said to Ilya,
"Good-bye."
"Good-bye, brother--take it easy; what can you do after all?"
"I? Nothing, unfortunately," said Jakov, as he opened the door.
Ilya looked after him, then sank heavily on his bed. He was sorry for
Jakov, and again hatred welled up in him against his uncle, against
Petrusha, against all mankind. He saw that a being as weak as Jakov
could not live among them, such a good, quiet, clean-minded fellow.
Ilya let his thoughts run freely over men and in his mind different
memories rose up showing him mankind as evil, horrible, lying
creatures. The times, in truth, were many in which he had seen them so,
and it relieved him to let his scorn loose on them; and the blacker
they seemed to him, the heavier weighed on him a strange feeling,
partly a vague desire, partly a malignant joy at other's suffering,
partly a fear at remaining so alone in the midst of this dark wretched
existence, that raged round him like a mad whirlpool.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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