"Oh, nothing. Well, then, you've _saved_ some money, have you?"
Ilya emphasised "saved."
"Yes, that's it," said Terenti, avoiding his look. "I shall give two
hundred roubles to the monastery."
"O!"
"And a hundred to you."
"A hundred?" asked Ilya, suddenly, and at once he knew that in his
soul for a long time the hope had lived that his uncle would give him
not a hundred roubles, but a much bigger sum. He was angered against
himself that his heart could entertain so hateful, calculating, an
expectation, and against his uncle that the sum was so small. He got
up, straightened himself, and said, full of scorn and insolence:
"I'll have none of your stolen money, d'you understand."
The hunchback recoiled in fear and sank on his bed, pale and wretched,
his hair bristled, his mouth stood open, and he gazed at Ilya silently
with stupid terror in his eyes.
"Well, why do you look like that? I don't want your money."
"Christ!" Terenti groaned hoarsely. "Why not, my dear, why not? Ilusha,
you've been like a son to me." Then presently he went on in a whisper.
"It was just--for you--for fear of what should happen to you, that I
took the sin on my soul; take the money, take it, else the Lord won't
forgive me."
"So," cried Ilya, mockingly, "you'll go to your God with an account
book! Oh! you! did I ask you to steal old Jeremy's money; think what a
good man he was you robbed!"
"Ilusha, you didn't ask to be born, either," said the uncle, and
stretched out his hand to Ilya with an odd gesture. "No, take the
money, quietly, for Christ's sake, to save my soul; if I come back,
then you'll get it all, and meantime take this, my dear boy. God will
not forgive my sins, if you don't take the money!"
He was actually begging, his lips quivered, and in his eyes was an
expression of fear. Ilya looked at him and could not determine if his
uncle really distressed him or no.
"Well, all right, I'll take it," he said at last, and went straight
out of the room. He was sorry that he had yielded finally, he felt
degraded. What was a hundred roubles to him after all? What big thing
could he undertake with that? If his uncle had given him a thousand
roubles now instead of a hundred, then he would have been enabled to
change his dull uneasy life into a better, that should glide along in
peaceful solitude far from mankind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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