Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"Yes," said Billie, for there were no secrets between this girl and her
father. At least, not many. She occasionally omitted to tell him some
such trifle as that she had met Samuel Marlowe on the previous morning
in a leafy lane, and intended to meet him again this afternoon, but
apart from that her mind was an open book.
"It's a great morning," said Mr. Bennett.
"So peaceful," said Billie.
"The eggs you get in the country in England," said Mr. Bennett,
suddenly striking a lyrical note, "are extraordinary. I had three for
breakfast this morning which defied competition, simply defied
competition. They were large and brown, and as fresh as new-mown-hay!"
He mused for a while in a sort of ecstasy.
"And the hams!" he went on. "The ham I had for breakfast was what I
call ham! I don't know when I've had ham like that. I suppose it's
something they feed the pigs," he concluded, in soft meditation. And he
gave a little sigh. Life was very beautiful.
Silence fell, broken only by the snoring of Smith. Billie was thinking
of Sam, and of what Sam had said to her in the lane yesterday; of his
clean-cut face, and the look in his eyes--so vastly superior to any
look that ever came into the eyes of Bream Mortimer. She was telling
herself that her relations with Sam were an idyll; for, being young and
romantic, she enjoyed this freshet of surreptitious meetings which had
come to enliven the stream of her life. It was pleasant to go warily
into deep lanes where forbidden love lurked. She cast a swift side-glance
at her father--the unconscious ogre in her fairy-story. What would he say
if he knew? But Mr. Bennett did not know, and consequently continued to
meditate peacefully on ham.
They had sat like this for perhaps a minute--two happy mortals lulled by
the gentle beauty of the day--when from the window of the drawing-room
there stepped out a white-capped maid. And one may just as well say at
once--and have done with it--that this is the point where the quiet,
peaceful scene in domestic life terminates with a jerk, and pity and
terror resume work at the old stand.
The maid--her name, not that it matters, was Susan, and she was engaged
to be married, though the point is of no importance, to the second
assistant at Green's Grocery Stores in Windlehurst--approached Mr.
Bennett.
"Please, sir, a gentleman to see you."
"Eh?" said Mr. Bennett, torn from a dream of large pink slices edged
with bread-crumbed fat. "Eh?"
"A gentleman to see you, sir. In the drawing-room. He says you are
expecting him."
"Of course, yes. To be sure."
Mr. Bennett heaved himself out of the deck-chair. Beyond the French
windows he could see an indistinct form in a gray suit, and remembered
that this was the morning on which Sir Mallaby Marlowe's clerk--who was
taking those Schultz and Bowen papers for him to America--had
written that he would call. To-day was Friday; no doubt the man was
sailing from Southampton to-morrow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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