Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
The latter theory was the correct one. Montagu Webster was a man who at
many a subscription ball had shaken a wicked dancing-pump, and nothing
in the proper circumstances pleased him better than to exercise the
skill which had become his as the result of twelve private lessons at
half-a-crown a visit: but he recognized the truth of the scriptural
adage that there is a time for dancing, and that this was not it. His
only desire when, stealing into the drawing-room he had been confronted
through the curtains by a female figure, was to get back to his bedroom
undetected. He supposed that one of the feminine members of the
house-party must have been taking a stroll in the grounds, and he did not
wish to stay and be compelled to make laborious explanations of his
presence there in the dark. He decided to postpone the knocking on the
cupboard door, which had been the signal arranged between himself and
Sam, until a more suitable occasion. In the meantime he bounded
silently out into the hall, and instantaneously tripped over the portly
form of Smith, the bulldog, who, roused from a light sleep to the
knowledge that something was going on, and being a dog who always liked
to be in the centre of the maelstrom of events, had waddled out to
investigate.
By the time Mrs. Hignett had pulled herself together sufficiently to
feel brave enough to venture into the hall, Webster's presence of mind
and Smith's gregariousness had combined to restore that part of the
house to its normal nocturnal condition of emptiness. Webster's stagger
had carried him almost up to the green baize door leading to the
servants' staircase, and he proceeded to pass through it without
checking his momentum, closely followed by Smith who, now convinced
that interesting events were in progress which might possibly culminate
in cake, had abandoned the idea of sleep and meant to see the thing
through. He gambolled in Webster's wake up the stairs and along the
passage leading to the latter's room, and only paused when the door was
brusquely shut in his face. Upon which he sat down to think the thing
over. He was in no hurry. The night was before him, promising, as far
as he could judge from the way it had opened, excellent entertainment.
Mrs. Hignett had listened fearfully to the uncouth noises from the
hall. The burglars--she had now discovered that there were at least two
of them--appeared to be actually romping. The situation had grown beyond
her handling. If this troupe of terpsichorean marauders was to be
dislodged she must have assistance. It was man's work. She made a brave
dash through the hall, mercifully unmolested: found the stairs: raced up
them: and fell through the doorway of her son Eustace's bedroom like a
spent Marathon runner staggering past the winning-post.
2
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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