Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
For it must be borne in mind that the German man is exceptionally
sentimental, and most easily influenced by his women folk. It is said of
him, he is the best of lovers, the worst of husbands. This has been the
woman's fault. Once married, the German woman has done more than put
romance behind her; she has taken a carpet-beater and driven it out of
the house. As a girl, she never understood dressing; as a wife, she
takes off such clothes even as she had, and proceeds to wrap herself up
in any odd articles she may happen to find about the house; at all
events, this is the impression she produces. The figure that might often
be that of a Juno, the complexion that would sometimes do credit to a
healthy angel, she proceeds of malice and intent to spoil. She sells her
birth-right of admiration and devotion for a mess of sweets. Every
afternoon you may see her at the cafe, loading herself with rich cream-
covered cakes, washed down by copious draughts of chocolate. In a short
time she becomes fat, pasty, placid, and utterly uninteresting.
When the German woman gives up her afternoon coffee and her evening beer,
takes sufficient exercise to retain her shape, and continues to read
after marriage something else than the cookery-book, the German
Government will find it has a new and unknown force to deal with. And
everywhere throughout Germany one is confronted by unmistakable signs
that the old German Frauen are giving place to the newer Damen.
Concerning what will then happen one feels curious. For the German
nation is still young, and its maturity is of importance to the world.
They are a good people, a lovable people, who should help much to make
the world better.
The worst that can be said against them is that they have their failings.
They themselves do not know this; they consider themselves perfect, which
is foolish of them. They even go so far as to think themselves superior
to the Anglo-Saxon: this is incomprehensible. One feels they must be
pretending.
"They have their points," said George; "but their tobacco is a national
sin. I'm going to bed."
We rose, and leaning over the low stone parapet, watched the dancing
lights upon the soft, dark river.
"It has been a pleasant Bummel, on the whole," said Harris; "I shall be
glad to get back, and yet I am sorry it is over, if you understand me."
"What is a 'Bummel'?" said George. "How would you translate it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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