Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
It stood in a small square not far from the further end of the
Karlsbrucke, but it stood there only temporarily. Before deciding
finally where to fix it, the town authorities had resolved, very
sensibly, to judge by practical test where it would look best.
Accordingly, they had made three rough copies of the statue--mere wooden
profiles, things that would not bear looking at closely, but which,
viewed from a little distance, produced all the effect that was
necessary. One of these they had set up at the approach to the Franz-
Josefsbrucke, a second stood in the open space behind the theatre, and
the third in the centre of the Wenzelsplatz.
"If George is not in the secret of this thing," said Harris--we were
walking by ourselves for an hour, he having remained behind in the hotel
to write a letter to his aunt,--"if he has not observed these statues,
then by their aid we will make a better and a thinner man of him, and
that this very evening."
So during dinner we sounded him, judiciously; and finding him ignorant of
the matter, we took him out, and led him by side-streets to the place
where stood the real statue. George was for looking at it and passing
on, as is his way with statues, but we insisted on his pulling up and
viewing the thing conscientiously. We walked him round that statue four
times, and showed it to him from every possible point of view. I think,
on the whole, we rather bored him with the thing, but our object was to
impress it upon him. We told him the history of the man who rode upon
the horse, the name of the artist who had made the statue, how much it
weighed, how much it measured. We worked that statue into his system. By
the time we had done with him he knew more about that statue, for the
time being, than he knew about anything else. We soaked him in that
statue, and only let him go at last on the condition that he would come
again with us in the morning, when we could all see it better, and for
such purpose we saw to it that he made a note in his pocket-book of the
place where the statue stood.
Then we accompanied him to his favourite beer hall, and sat beside him,
telling him anecdotes of men who, unaccustomed to German beer, and
drinking too much of it, had gone mad and developed homicidal mania; of
men who had died young through drinking German beer; of lovers that
German beer had been the means of parting for ever from beautiful girls.
At ten o'clock we started to walk back to the hotel. It was a stormy-
looking night, with heavy clouds drifting over a light moon. Harris
said:
"We won't go back the same way we came; we'll walk back by the river. It
is lovely in the moonlight."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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