Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
From Baden, about which it need only be said that it is a pleasure resort
singularly like other pleasure resorts of the same description, we
started bicycling in earnest. We planned a ten days' tour, which, while
completing the Black Forest, should include a spin down the Donau-Thal,
which for the twenty miles from Tuttlingen to Sigmaringen is, perhaps,
the finest valley in Germany; the Danube stream here winding its narrow
way past old-world unspoilt villages; past ancient monasteries, nestling
in green pastures, where still the bare-footed and bare-headed friar, his
rope girdle tight about his loins, shepherds, with crook in hand, his
sheep upon the hill sides; through rocky woods; between sheer walls of
cliff, whose every towering crag stands crowned with ruined fortress,
church, or castle; together with a blick at the Vosges mountains, where
half the population is bitterly pained if you speak to them in French,
the other half being insulted when you address them in German, and the
whole indignantly contemptuous at the first sound of English; a state of
things that renders conversation with the stranger somewhat nervous work.
We did not succeed in carrying out our programme in its entirety, for the
reason that human performance lags ever behind human intention. It is
easy to say and believe at three o'clock in the afternoon that: "We will
rise at five, breakfast lightly at half-past, and start away at six."
"Then we shall be well on our way before the heat of the day sets in,"
remarks one.
"This time of the year, the early morning is really the best part of the
day. Don't you think so?" adds another.
"Oh, undoubtedly."
"So cool and fresh."
"And the half-lights are so exquisite."
The first morning one maintains one's vows. The party assembles at half-
past five. It is very silent; individually, somewhat snappy; inclined to
grumble with its food, also with most other things; the atmosphere
charged with compressed irritability seeking its vent. In the evening
the Tempter's voice is heard:
"I think if we got off by half-past six, sharp, that would be time
enough?"
The voice of Virtue protests, faintly: "It will be breaking our
resolution."
The Tempter replies: "Resolutions were made for man, not man for
resolutions." The devil can paraphrase Scripture for his own purpose.
"Besides, it is disturbing the whole hotel; think of the poor servants."
The voice of Virtue continues, but even feebler: "But everybody gets up
early in these parts."
"They would not if they were not obliged to, poor things! Say breakfast
at half-past six, punctual; that will be disturbing nobody."
Thus Sin masquerades under the guise of Good, and one sleeps till six,
explaining to one's conscience, who, however, doesn't believe it, that
one does this because of unselfish consideration for others. I have
known such consideration extend until seven of the clock.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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