OLIVER. Not at all. The answer in your case is because A. L. Royce is a well-known critic and a jolly good fellow. The answer in my case is because there’s a B. in both. In other words, because there’s a Blayds in Blayds-Conway. If my father had stuck to his William Conway when he got married, I should never have been elected. Not at the age of twenty-two, anyway. ROYCE. Then I’m very glad he changed his name. Because otherwise, it seems, I might not have had the pleasure of meeting you. OLIVER. Oh, well, there’s always a something. But, compliments aside, it isn’t much fun for a man when things happen to him just because of the Blayds in Blayds-Conway. You know what I am doing now, don’t you? I told you. ROYCE. Secretary to some politician, isn’t it? OLIVER. Yes. And why? Because of the Blayds in—— ROYCE. Oh, nonsense! OLIVER. It’s true. Do you think I want to be a private secretary to a dashed politician? What’s a private secretary at his best but a superior sort of valet? I wanted to be a motor engineer. Not allowed. Why not? Because the Blayds in Blayds-Conway wouldn’t have been any use. But politicians simply live on that sort of thing. ROYCE. What sort of thing? OLIVER. Giving people jobs because they’re the grandsons of somebody. ROYCE. Yes, I wonder if I was as cynical as you eighteen years ago. OLIVER. Probably not; there wasn’t a Grandfather Royce. By the way, talking about being jolly good fellows and all that, have you noticed that I haven’t offered you a cigarette yet? ROYCE. I don’t want to smoke. OLIVER. Well, that’s lucky. Smoking isn’t allowed in here. ROYCE (_annoyed by this_). Now look here, Conway, do you mind if I speak plainly? OLIVER. Do. But just one moment before you begin. My name, unfortunately, is _Blayds_-Conway. Call me Conway at the Club and I’ll thank you for it. But if you call me Conway in the hearing of certain members of my family, I’m afraid there will be trouble. Now what were you going to say? ROYCE (_his annoyance gone_). Doesn’t matter. OLIVER. No, do go on, Mr. Blayds-Royce. ROYCE. Very well, Mr. Blayds-Conway. I am old enough to be—no, not your grandfather—your uncle—and I want to say this. Oliver Blayds is a very great man and also a very old man, and I think that while you live in the house of this very great man, the inconveniences to which his old age puts you, my dear Conway—— OLIVER. Blayds-Conway. ROYCE (_smiling_). Blayds-Conway, I’m sorry. OLIVER. Perhaps you’d better call me Oliver. ROYCE. Yes, I think I will. Well, then, Oliver——