Through Night to Light: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Through Night to Light: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
They had reached the town gate, walking rapidly but saying little to
each other. As soon as they were outside the town they began to walk
more slowly, as if by concert. Oswald felt that the young beauty who
hung on his arm was in his power--that it depended on him to make her
happy--in her sense of the word, at least. The virtuous impulse which
he had felt just now, and which had been produced partly by the pride
of self-respect, had long since passed away. Emily's coquettish charms,
whose power he had already once felt overwhelming in the window-niche
at Barnewitz, had not failed to have their effect upon his wavering but
extremely susceptible nature; and if he even thought at that moment of
the greater beauty of Helen, and of what he called his true love, for
which he had sacrificed so much--alas! so much!--this served after all
only to make the sweetness of a stolen and half-forbidden passion all
the more intoxicating.
"Are you still angry, Emily?" he said, with the most insinuating tone
of his sweet, deep voice.
"I--and angry?" replied Emily, and she came up closer and closer to her
companion; "can we be angry where we would love, love always, love
inexpressibly, and----"
"And what, sweetest?"
"Perhaps be loved a little in return!"
The words sounded so childlike, good, and true, that Oswald could not
understand how he had ever been able to reject the love of this most
charming creature.
"And yet," he said, "you were once angry with me; and you had cause! I
swear it by that heaven which was then looking down upon us with its
golden stars! How shall I make amends, oh sweet one! for what--oh! I
cannot bear to think of that night at the ball at Grenwitz!"
"Really!" replied Emily, merrily; "oh, then it is all right again. Then
I will not be sorry for anything that has happened since."
"For what has happened since! _What_ has happened?"
"How can you ask? Am I not Baroness Cloten? And why am I that? Only
because you would none of my love! Oh, Oswald, I cannot tell you what a
tumult there was in my heart that night after I had left you. My heart
was breaking; I could have cried aloud; I could have thrown myself down
on the ground; I could have died. And yet I sent Cloten to my aunt to
ask her for my hand. How could I do it? You do not know women, if you
ask that. Cloten, or any one; I did not care who, at that moment I had
only the one thought--to be avenged on you by making myself as wretched
as I possibly could, so that you should have my unhappiness on your
conscience, and I might be able to say to you one of these days: You
would have it so."
"This 'one of these days' has come sooner than you probably expected. I
would cheerfully give many years of my life--I would willingly die on
the spot--if I could by so doing make you free again; as free as you
were when we met for the first time at Barnewitz."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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