Through Night to Light: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Through Night to Light: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
herrings," so Berger also had laid aside the philosopher's cloak, that
did not warm him half as well as the rope-dancer's bare vulgarity.
Berger had learnt from this man that only he can hope to enjoy real
happiness who gives up all pretentions to wealth, to honor, and
splendor, and who sees neither a punishment nor a disgrace in the
contempt of the world. Did those men of olden times think differently
about it who fed on locusts, and exposed their bodies to the heat of
the sun and the chill of rains--Indian penitents. Christian anchorites,
Flagellants, pillar-saints, and ascetics of every kind? Is asceticism
not the consistent pursuit of holiness? Is not contempt of the world,
and of one's self, the consistent effect of asceticism? Can we
reach the Holiest of Holies--the blissful original state, the sweet
Nirvana--unless we first annihilate ourselves, as far as it can be done
in life? And is such annihilation possible as long as we continually
cling to life and to all that makes life dear to us? Is it an accident
that saints appear odd in the eyes of the multitude, and the company of
publicans and sinners is the best in the eyes of holy men? Yes, indeed!
Berger and Schmenckel, arm in arm! Was that the solution of the great
mystery, the squaring of the circle?
Oswald could not get rid of the picture, and the terrible impression it
had made upon him at last brought him back to calmer views. His sense,
of the beautiful was shocked by the abhorrent garb which that ascetic
wisdom had adopted. He agreed with all his heart to join the order of
the threefold contempt, but he could not be reconciled to the costume
of the order. He thought of himself in the dress in which he had seen
Berger--a blue, faded blouse, a coarse slouched hat, a stick cut from a
thorn-bush--and he shuddered all over. He thought of Doctor Braun, and
what he would have said if he had met him in company with Berger--he
who gainfully fastidious about his appearance, and considered it a
fundamental principle, that if we wished to remain physically and
psychically healthy, we must be careful not to come in contact with
bodily or mental uncleanliness. Despise the world!--why not? Despise
one's self! I have done that often enough; and, alas, generally for
very good reasons. But despise being despised! Never!--rather
die!--rather, a thousand times.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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