Through One AdministrationBurnett, Frances Hodgson
General
Through One Administration
Burnett, Frances Hodgson
United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"You came," she answered, "because I alarmed you unnecessarily, and it
seemed that some one must come, and you were kind enough to assume the
responsibility."
"I came because there was no one else," he began.
She stopped him with a question she had not asked before, and he felt
that she asked it inadvertently.
"Where was Laurence Arbuthnot?" she said.
"That is true," he replied, grimly. "Laurence Arbuthnot would have been
better."
"No," she said, "he would not have been better."
She looked up at him with a curious mixture of questioning and defiance
in her eyes.
"I don't know why it is that I always manage to make you angry," she
said; "I must be very stupid. I always know you will be angry before you
have done with me. When we were downstairs"--
"When we were downstairs," he put in, hotly, "we were two honest human
beings, without any barriers of conventional pretence between us, and
you allowed me to think you meant to take what I had to offer, and then,
suddenly, all is changed, and the barrier is between us again, because
you choose to place it there, and profess that you must regard me, in
your pretty, civil way, as a creature to be considered and treated with
form and ceremony."
"Thank you for calling it a pretty way," she said.
And yet there was a tone in her low voice which softened his wrath
somehow,--a rather helpless tone, which suggested that she had said the
words only because she had no other resource, and still must utter her
faint protest.
"It is for _me_," he went on, "to come to you with a civil pretence
instead of an honest intention? I am not sufficiently used to
conventionalities to make myself bearable. I am always blundering and
stumbling. No one can feel that more bitterly than I do; but you have no
right to ignore my claim to do what I can when I might be of use. I
might be of use, because the child is fond of me, and in my awkward
fashion I can quiet and amuse her as you say no one but yourself can."
"Will you tell me?" she asked, frigidly, "what right I have to permit
you to make of yourself a--a nursemaid to my child?"
"Call it what you like," he answered. "Speak of it as you like. What
right does it need? I came because"--
His recollection of her desolateness checked him. It was not for him to
remind her again by his recklessness of speech that her husband had not
felt it necessary to provide against contingencies. But she filled up
the sentence.
"Yes, you are right," she said. "As you said before, there was no one
else--no one."
"It chanced to be so," he said; "and why should I not be allowed to fill
up the breach for the time being?"
"Because it is almost absurd," she said, inconsequently. "Don't you see
that?"
"No," he answered, obstinately.
Their eyes met, and rested upon each other.
"You don't care?" she said.
"No."
"I knew you wouldn't," she said. "You never care for anything. That is
what I like in you--and dread."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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